Free Beauty and the Dark by Georgia le Carre Page A

on the accelerator pad and I speed away.
    She’ll be mine come hell or high water.

Fifteen
    Sofia
    Y ou can tell everything from a kiss and Jack Irish’s kiss broke me in two.  His body told me what his mouth wouldn’t. He wants me with the kind of desperation I have never seen in a man. I tasted from the fountain of his need. And his need was vast. Like he wants to lose himself in me. I know I have to stay away from him.
    I smile at the guard and walk quickly to the lift. Inside the lift I take deep, calming breaths and try to stop my body from trembling. When I get to the apartment it is silent. The nanny and Irina have still not arrived.
    “Is that you, Sofia,” Lena shouts from her bathroom.
    I clear my throat. “Yeah, it’s me,” I reply.
    “Come and tell me what happened then?”
    I go into her bathroom and perch at the corner of her bath. She is leaning her head back and the room is full of fragrant scents. For a few seconds the steam prevents her from seeing my expression. When she does see it she sits up.
    “He kissed you,” she says in shock.
    “Yes,” I whisper, touching my swollen mouth.
    She looks at me carefully. “Are you all right?”
    The question confuses me. “Yes, I think so.”
    She stands, and with water and soap suds dripping off her beautiful body, she comes to where I am sitting and kneels in front of me. “It’s okay to be frightened,” she whispers.
    My throat closes over so I can’t even speak. I just nod as tears begin to run down my face.
    Her wet hand reaches out and smears my cheeks. I catch her hand. “I am very frightened.” My voice is low and hoarse.
    “I know. But I’m here and I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”
    “He doesn’t know about me. About the past.”
    “Of course not, but you’ll take it step by step.”
    “He wanted us to go out so I told him I was mentally unstable today.”
    Her head jerks back. “Why on earth did you tell him that? I’m more mentally unstable than you.”
    “That’s not true, Lena. Sometimes I feel as if I’m skating on the very brink of an abyss. One wrong move and I could fall in.”
    She stares at me, horrified. “That’s not true.”
    “It’s true. You and Guy do everything for me. I don’t know what I’d be if I had to live alone.”
    “Well, you will eventually. Step by step. Actually, I was going to suggest that sometimes you can stay here in the apartment alone. I’ll go back with Guy, and you can go out with Fiona, or one of the other girls at the center for a drink or a meal in the evening. In the morning you can do some shopping before you come back home.” She smiles hopefully. “Would you like that?”
    I nod.
    “Good. Now, what did Jack say when you told him you’re mentally unstable?”
    “He said he didn’t care.”
    Her eyes flash with promise. “I like Jack. He’s a good guy.”
    “Yeah, but even good guys don’t want a prostitute for a girlfri-.”
    Lena slaps her hand on my mouth so suddenly it makes my body jerk backwards. She looks at me with fierce eyes. “Don’t even let me hear you say that again. What happened to you was not your fault. You were just a child. You didn’t choose that life. What happened to you could have just as easily happened to me.”
    I speak through the hand clamped on my mouth. “But it didn’t happen to you. It happened to me.” My voice breaks on me.
    Lena wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. “Oh, Sofia, Sofia. I’m soooo sorry. What I wouldn’t do to take your pain away,” she cries.
    While we are wrapped around each other it occurs to me that I am hurting her. The person I love most in the world. I’m the older sister. It is me who should be taking care of her. I lift my hand and gently stroke her hair. “I have forgotten most of it now,’ I lie. ‘Soon it will all be gone.”
    My sister starts sobbing. “You were always an angel. Always. Of all of us you were always the kindest and most gentle.”
    “Don’t cry,