Free Beauty and the Dark by Georgia le Carre Page B

Lena. It’ll be fine.”
    She leans away from me and looks into my eyes. “You’re still young. You’ve got to grab life with both hands. The cake, the shoes, the man.”
    I smile through my tears.
    “You have to believe me that your past won’t matter a damn to the man who loves you.”
    I think of the brand on my back and know that it will matter. Valdislav’s greatest sexual turn-on was to watch videos of other men fucking me while he rammed into me from the back. He let his eyes alternate between the TV screen and the sight of his name burnt into my back. But what other man is going to want to see Valdislav’s mark on his girlfriend’s back while he’s having sex with her?
    “Did you hear what I said?” Lena asks.
    “Maybe it’s because he’s moving too fast.” Feeling disloyal to Jack and confused, I cover my face with my hands. “It’s not just him. I lose my head when I’m with him too. I think I need more time to process how I am feeling.”
    “Then take more time. There’s no rush. It’s not a race.”
    I nod.
    “You take as much time as you want, okay?”
    I nod again. No need to trouble her with my worries.

Sixteen
    Sofia
    T he week crawls by at a snail’s pace. I fall deeper and deeper in love with my Mika and enjoy watching her grow right before my eyes, but I no longer appreciate my solitude. Every second that I spend alone is full of thoughts of Jack. I replay the kiss a million times in my head. Each time I find myself craving for more.
    By the time Thursday comes around I am a total wreck. I put my hair in a French braid and wear my good cream sweater. Lena says it suits me and I have to agree with her. I even wear some mascara and slick on some pink lip gloss.
    Lena squeezes my hand. “One step at a time.”
    We arrive at Kids Rule and Lena goes to her Fashion class, but I don’t attend. Instead, I join Lana in the office for carrot cake and tea. I really like Lana. She is kind-hearted.
    We sit together eating cake, sipping tea and stapling leaflets that will be handed out in the new branch of Kids Rule in Manchester.
    “My sister tells me you grew up on this very Council estate,” I say.
    Lana gathers two pieces of paper together, staples them, and grins at me. “Yup, but not just me. Jack too.”
    I raise my eyebrows, surprised and immediately intrigued to find out more about Jack’s past. “Really?”
    “Yeah. We grew up together.” The stapler runs out of staples so she opens a drawer and takes a box out. “My father abandoned my mother when I was very young and Jack kind of took over the job of protecting me, even though he is only a bit older than me.”
    How lucky she is. First she grows up with Jack protecting her, then she marries a billionaire who worships the ground she walks on. I should have felt envy, but I find that it is impossible to be truly resentful of her. She is so open and warm and kind.
    “So you must know him really well,” I say softly, my hand playing with a crumb of carrot cake on my plate.
    Her forehead furrows as she thinks about my statement. “I don’t know, Sofia. I’m not sure anyone really knows Jack. He's very deep. I’ve known him almost all my life, but I don’t think I know the real him.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “For most of my childhood I just knew him as loyal, kind, and protective. He was my rock, but one night he showed a side of him that totally shocked me.”
    I lean forward curiously. “What was it?”             
    “My best friend, Billie, me and him had gone to a nightclub and some really rough looking guys wanted to dance with me. I wasn’t rude to them or anything, but I refused their offer. They moved away and I thought that was that, but later when we got out of the club, they were waiting for us. They circled us. One of them had a knife. Jack smiled at me and asked me to walk out of the circle and they closed in on him.”
    The old memory still has the ability to make her shiver.
    “That was