Free Alana by Monica Barrie Page A

how much I know about you, Alana. There were too many nights in prison that Jason and I spent talking of you–or should I say that Jason talked and I listened.”
    Rafe took a deep breath. “All your life has been spent fulfilling obligations put upon you. The first was to your mother, to protect Riverbend. Then you had to care for your father until he walked out on you. And when Jason asked you to marry him, you accepted because of your obligation to him and to Riverbend, did you not?”
    “Still,” Alana said, freeing her hands, pulling her shoulders straight and arching her neck proudly in the face of Rafe’s truths, “I will marry him.”
    “What about you, Alana? What about your obligation to yourself? Is your entire life to be lived for others? You’re not some old woman who has no other purpose in life than to play nursemaid. You’re young, alive, and the most vital woman, the most beautiful woman I have ever known. You have passions within you that will destroy you if they aren’t released. You have needs, Alana, strong needs. If you didn’t, you would not have asked me to stay.”
    Rafe stared into the pools of her eyes. Her mouth was set in a tight line, and a vein in her neck throbbed visibly in the moonlight.
    “You don’t know everything, Rafael Montgomery; if you did, you would know that I cannot change what must be, nor can I betray the man who has given me so much in my times of need.”
    “You talk of betrayal, Alana, and you are right. It doesn’t take the powers of a god to see into your heart, it takes the power of a lover. I can see, even if you won’t, that no matter what you do, you will betray someone. And, that someone might be you. Think about it, my love.” Releasing her suddenly, he stepped around her and disappeared into the blackness of the night.
     
     

6
     
    As her wedding day drew near, Alana found herself busier than she ever before. She had delegated all responsibility for the wedding banquet to Lorelei, who she knew was more than capable of handling it.
    To Ben she issued instructions for constructing and setting up the tables and seats for the guests. She had also told Ben to open the long been closed guest wing of Riverbend, for those people who would be arriving from Charleston the day before the wedding.
    The wedding itself and the celebration after would be held on the north lawn, adjacent to the gardens. And although the expenses were high, and Alana knew she would have to sell the remainder of her jewelry, she did not mind, for she believed that a large social gathering might help Jason recover some of his lost spirit.
    While the field hands worked in the north lawn, every morning for three days Alana had stood impatiently while the seamstress refitted her mother’s wedding gown to her. After that, she had spent another hour sitting with Jason to discuss the plantation and his shipping business.
    At first, Jason had resisted her efforts to get him involved again and had refused to advise her on business matters. Patiently, she had been able to draw him, albeit reluctantly, into the problems they faced under the harsh economic changes that now ruled the South. The moment she was finished, however, he would retreat into the drug-induced stupor that Alana had come to know so well.
    After the fittings and her meetings with Jason, along with whatever else happened to interfere with her regular routine, she, Jason, and Rafe would sit down for lunch.
    By that time, Alana could no longer stay in the house. She would change into her work clothes–a pair of men’s riding pants and a white cotton shirt–and ride across the plantation, checking on everything and breathing the scents of freedom and life.
    Today, like the days before it, Alana rode through the fields, forcing herself to do whatever was necessary to keep her mind free from thoughts of Rafe and of the life she would never have with him. Yearning for Rafe filled her heart, making it swell with love whenever she