Free Murder Plays House by Ayelet Waldman

thank him for grabbing her collar and saving her life.
    Finally, once it had become obvious that unlike the listing agent, we were not the types whose cheerfulness could not be dimmed even by peeling bathroom fixtures and water-stained ceilings, he led us out to the garden.
    “It’s perfect for children. Perfect. There’s even room for a play structure!”
    I followed his pointed finger with my eyes. “Where?” I asked.
    “Right there!”
    “In those sticker bushes?”
    “It’s a xeriscape—a low-water garden. Very fashionable, and environmentally sensitive.”
    I murmured something noncommittal, then found my attention distracted by the shrieks of a child. Little Ashkon had managed to impale himself on the thorns of one of those succulents.
    “Oh no!” Kat screamed, tearing through the garden, tripping over the rusted patio furniture.
    “Stay right here!” I ordered my children, sitting them down on the back step—the only area not overrun with child-eating thorn bushes. “Do not move!”
    I ran over to help Kat. She was trying to yank Ashkon’s arm free of the barbs, but their gyrations served only to entangle him further.
    “Wait!” I barked. I waded warily into the garden. Kat held her son still while I carefully disengaged him from his predator, thorn by thorn. Once he was free, Kat lifted him in her arms, and we trudged back to where my kids were sitting, quietly for once.
    “Perfect for kids?” Kat snarled at the other agent, who had the grace to blush.
    By the time we got back into the car, Ashkon had stopped crying, and had begun showing off his scratches to Isaac, who expressed very satisfactory awe at his friend’s bravery. I took off down the hill, as fast as I could.
    “Fine,” Kat said.
    “Fine, what?”
    “Fine, we’ll get you the Felix house.”
    “Really?” I smiled at my friend. “Really?”
    She had her arms crossed over her chest, and she looked grim. “I just warn you, it’s not going to be easy. Nahid is planning a full frontal attack for when the boys decide to put the house on the market. She’s lined up a psychic to do this insane ‘ghost-clearing’ ceremony, and she’s already booked a dresser for the open house.”
    “A dresser?”
    “You know, like a decorator.”
    “But the house is beautifully decorated!”
    Kat shook her head. “If there isn’t something gildedin every room, my mother-in-law doesn’t consider it done.”
    “Ah. She must
love
your place.”
    Kat laughed bitterly. “Not a holiday goes by that she doesn’t try to foist some monstrosity off on me. You would not believe what she gave Reza for his birthday this year.”
    “What?”
    “I don’t even know what it’s supposed to be. It hangs from the ceiling. It’s covered in gilt sparrows.”
    “Ew!!”
    “My sentiments exactly. It went right into his study, with every other present she’s ever given us. At this point that room looks like Ali Baba’s cave!”
    “So what do we do? How do we get me my house?”
    Kat shook her head. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. If we wait until it goes on the market, we’ll be screwed. Knowing my mother-in-law, she’ll jack the price up and get a bidding war going. I wouldn’t be surprised if she manages to convince people that a dead body is good
feng shui.
Our only hope is to get an accepted offer
before
it goes on the market.”
    “How do we do that? Isn’t the owner’s boyfriend Nahid’s cousin’s son or something? They’re not going to sell it to us, especially not if they know she can make them more money.”
    Kat wrinkled her forehead. “I don’t know. But that’s our only hope.”
    We rode in silence for a while. Then I said, “What if I went to talk to Felix? What if I offered to help with the investigation of this sister’s death? You know, in my capacity as an almost-licensed private investigator, and an experienced criminal defense attorney. I could act as his advocate with the police, that kind of