Sci Spanks
viewing in the last three Earth rotations. I’d done my homework on the event, saved up my new-dollars and bought my ticket. Now I was ready to put my considerable hard-earned knowledge into play.
    For research purposes, of course.
    As I crossed the footbridge I spied the pre-sold ticket booth and headed directly for it. At the window I flashed my holographic proof-of-purchase and was rewarded with a grunt. Lovely . Such brilliant conversationalists the Utai were! Well, no matter. I wasn’t here to chat anyway. After another five minutes spent waiting in a security-scan queue, they cleared me to enter the most sacred of shrines: the Supreme Emperor’s Flower Garden. With a name such as that, I half expected Earthen green tea served in tiny cups by women with bound feet and bizarre hairstyles. But neither food nor drink were allowed inside the auditorium. Of course I had enough hydra-gel in my pack to last me until I boarded the shuttle home in a little over two-and-a-half deciday. Which gave me very little time to put my plan into action. Elbowing my way through the crowd, I edged nearer the stage.
    Though I’d read about the grotesque scents of the Utai’ian’s flower species, I couldn’t help wrinkling my nose at the boggy stench. Phew . The guide-books had been too kind. I suddenly had second thoughts. Could I really do this without gagging? Seriously. The aroma was horrid. My hair would never smell the same. But then I remembered my research.
    I looked left and right at the hulking guards stationed every hundred centimeters or so around the entire presentation. The Utai’ians were green, very muscular large bi-pedals known to be difficult to excite. The guidebook had said little about their sexuality, their preferences hush-hush. Well. I had heard rumors about their prowess and I wasn’t going to leave without checking them out. Putting one foot in front of the other, I marched my way toward the display, surreptitiously tripped over a Vaibara’s rather large ankle, and toppled sideways into the flowers.
    Shrill alarms pealed. Heavy footsteps zeroed in on my location. A giant green hand grabbed the collar of my shirt and plucked me from the stinky blooms. I did my best to look surprised.
“I’m sorry…I….”
    “Restricted area. Unauthorized access. You’re under arrest.”
    If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the guard’s green cheeks flushed. Maybe they were an excitable race after all.
    Another guard talked into an earpiece before motioning toward the back of the room. “Holding cell. We will evaluate for immediate execution.”
    Say what? “Now, hold on a nanosecond. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. You surely can’t execute me for clumsiness.”
    “You have caused injury to the Emperor’s property. You must be punished. Take her to Oo’ir.”
    The guard holding me nodded grimly and a very bad feeling settled into my stomach. Execution wasn’t legal for but a handful of crimes on Utai, but this Oo’ir guy sounded threatening. What the hell had I done to myself?
     
    ***
     
    I was left alone in a room with my hands secure-tied behind my back. The cold meta-synth tables in front of me were bereft of any objects and after such an overload of botanical textures and smells, the room seemed painfully vacant. Except for the empty throne. Or whatever the large chair might be. It too, looked cold and uncomfortable.
    Swamped in silence, it seemed I waited a full Earth rotation before a door opened. When it did, my worst fears and my highest hopes were justly rewarded.
    A tall, brawny Utai’ian lumbered toward me, taking his time, looking no more interested in my presence than I was with flowers. Determined, I stuck my chest out, and secretly pressed the hidden button on my bracelet to release the pheromones I’d purchased black market. I had to distract him from the idea of execution and put his attention on a different course. He came to rest within arm’s length of me, studying me under

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