Free Philosophy Made Simple by Robert Hellenga

of higher reality. You have to be careful. My cousin in Matamoros had a vision of the Virgin Mary, naked, and the bishop and a whole carload of priests came all the way from the cathedral in Monterrey. The church always investigates these things, you know, visions, miracles,
     things like that. They asked him all kinds of questions, and then they told him not to talk about it anymore.”
    Rudy opened two more beers. He could never be sure, in Spanish, when Medardo was pulling his leg.
    “Do you think it was a vision?”
    “I think he got his hands on a copy of
Playboy
magazine and it unsettled his brain.”
    “How about you, Medardo? Have you ever caught a glimpse of anything?”
    Medardo leaned forward and put his hand on Rudy’s arm. “Sometimes, señor, in the act of love …” He poured some beer in his glass and watched the foam rise and spill over the edge and run down the side. He wiped the side of the glass with a large white handkerchief. “Sometimes in the act of love 1 seem to
see
something, but then afterward, I think …” Medardo paused to light a cigarette. “Afterward I think I was only singing
la la la.”
    Rudy found one of Helen’s ashtrays in the desk and placed it on the arm of Medardo’s chair. “My wife used to tell a story about Aristotle that you’d appreciate,” he said. “When Aristotle was an old man he got a job as the tutor of Alexander the Great. He’s giving young Alexander a hard time about his girlfriend, so Alexander gets his girlfriend, whose name is Phyllis,
     to dance nakedright in front of Aristotle’s window, where he’s writing his book about ethics. Pretty soon Aristotle has such an
erection
he can’t take it anymore and goes out and propositions Phyllis. Phyllis says sure, but she wants Aristotle to do her a little favor; she wants to play horsey —
jugar a caballo”
    Medardo laughed. “What you want to say, Rudy, is
montar al caballito”
    “Montar al caballito,”
Rudy repeated. “In one of her lectures,” he went on, “my wife used to show a slide of a medieval tapestry with a picture of Aristotle and Phyllis. Aristotle’s wearing a bridle, and Phyllis is riding on his back, using a whip on the old man’s bare rear end. Alexander’s watching from behind a bush. You’d think Aristotle would be stuck. Here he is, caught with his pants down. But he was a smart old guy: ‘If love can do this to an old man like me, a philosopher,’ he says to Alexander, just think how dangerous it is for a young fellow like you.’“
    The dean at Edgar Lee Masters had asked Helen not to show this particular slide, but Helen had ignored his request on the grounds that the slide was an integral part of her lecture on the iconography of education.
Iconography
was one of Helen’s favorite words.
    Medardo laughed. “It would make a wonderful
comedia,
don’t you think? I’ll play Alexander and you can play Aristotle, and we’ll get one of the girls at Estrella Princesa to play Phyllis and ride on your back. What do you say? Ah, Rudy,” he went on, without giving Rudy a chance to respond, “I hope your wife had many more stories like this one, but now I must be on my way.” He smiled, revealing his large white teeth, and put his hand on Rudy’s shoulder. “No, no, don’t get up. I’ll let myself out.” He stood in the doorway for a moment. “Maybe you’d like to join me one of these days. When you get settled. For a
viernes cultural.”
    Aristotle’s appetitive man,
Rudy thought. “A man my age, Medardo,” he said, blushing slightly “I’ve put those things behind me.”
    “A man your age! Why, you’re in the prime of life, Rudy A man your age indeed.” But Rudy waved him off and Medardo took his leave. Rudy could hear his footsteps in the passage that led to the kitchen, and then the sound of the door closing behind him, and then the sound of Medardo’s car on the gravel in the drive.
    No more meaningful than singing
la la la, Rudy thought,
and isn’t