Free Complete Works, Volume I by Harold Pinter

That car's never let medown.
    MEG . Are you going to go for a ride?
    GOLDBERG does not answer, drinks his tea.
    MEG . Well, I'd better be off now. ( She moves to the back door, and turns. ) Petey, when Stanley comes down. . . .
    PETEY . Yes?
    MEG . Tell him I won't be long.
    PETEY . I'll tell him.
    MEG ( vaguely ). I won't be long. ( She exits. )
    GOLDBERG ( sipping his tea ). A good woman. A charming woman. My mother was the same. My wife was identical.
    PETEY . How is he this morning?
    GOLDBERG . Who?
    PETEY . Stanley. Is he any better?
    GOLDBERG ( a little uncertainly ). Oh . . . a little better, I think, a little better. Of course, I'm not really qualified to say, Mr Boles. I mean, I haven't got the . . . the qualifications. The best thing would be if someone with the proper . . . mnn . . . qualifications . . . was to have a look at him. Someone with a few letters after his name. It makes all the difference.
    PETEY . Yes.
    GOLDBERG . Anyway, Dermot's with him at the moment. He's . . . keeping him company.
    PETEY . Dermot?
    GOLDBERG . Yes.
    PETEY . It's a terrible thing.
    GOLDBERG ( sighs ). Yes. The birthday celebration was too much
    for him.
    PETEY . What came over him?
    GOLDBERG ( sharply ). What came over him? Breakdown, Mr Boles. Pure and simple. Nervous breakdown.
    PETEY . But what brought it on so suddenly?
    GOLDBERG ( rising, and moving upstage ). Well, Mr Boles, it canhappen in all sorts of ways. A friend of mine was telling me about it only the other day. We'd both been concerned with another case—not entirely similar, of course, but . . . quite alike, quite alike. ( He pauses. ) Anyway, he was telling me, you see, this friend of mine, that sometimes it happens gradual—day by day it grows and grows and grows . . . day by day. And then other times it happens all at once. Poof! Like that! The nerves break. There's no guarantee how it's going to happen, but with certain people . . . it's a foregone conclusion.
    PETEY . Really?
    GOLDBERG . Yes. This friend of mine—he was telling me about it—only the other day. ( He stands uneasily for a moment, then brings out a cigarette case and takes a cigarette. ) Have an Abdullah.
    PETEY . No, no, I don't take them.
    GOLDBERG . Once in a while I treat myself to a cigarette. An Abdullah, perhaps, or a . . . ( He snaps his fingers. )
    PETEY . What a night, ( GOLDBERG lights his cigarette with a lighter. ) Came in the front door and all the lights were out. Put a shilling in the slot, came in here and the party was over.
    GOLDBERG ( coming downstage ). You put a shilling in the slot?
    PETEY . Yes.
    GOLDBERG . And the lights came on.
    PETEY . Yes, then I came in here.
    GOLDBERG ( with a short laugh ). I could have sworn it was a fuse.
    PETEY ( continuing ). There was dead silence. Couldn't hear a thing. So I went upstairs and your friend—Dermot—met me on the landing. And he told me.
    GOLDBERG ( sharply ). Who?
    PETEY . Your friend—Dermot.
    GOLDBERG ( heavily ). Dermot. Yes. ( He sits. )
    PETEY . They get over it sometimes though, don't they? I mean, they can recover from it, can't they?
    GOLDBERG . Recover? Yes, sometimes they recover, in one way or another.
    PETEY . I mean, he might have recovered by now, mightn't he?
    GOLDBERG . It's conceivable. Conceivable.
    PETEY rises and picks up the teapot and cup.
    PETEY . Well, if he's no better by lunchtime I'll go and get hold of a doctor.
    GOLDBERG ( briskly ). It's all taken care of, Mr Boles. Don't worry yourself.
    PETEY ( dubiously ). What do you mean? ( Enter MCCANN with two suitcases. ) All packed up?
    PETEY takes the teapot and cups into the kitchen. MCCANN crosses left and puts down the suitcases. He goes up to the window and looks out.
    GOLDBERG . Well? ( MCCANN does not answer .) McCann. I asked you well.
    MCCANN ( without turning ). Well what?
    GOLDBERG . What's what? ( MCCANN does not answer. )
    MCCANN ( turning to look at GOLDBERG , grimly ). I'm not going up there again.
    GOLDBERG . Why not?
    MCCANN . I'm not