Free Guards of Haven: The Adventures of Hawk and Fisher (Hawk & Fisher) by Simon R. Green

eye,” he growled. “Makes my face ache.”
    Fisher looked over his shoulder into the mirror. “She’s right, Hawk; they’re a perfect match. No one will be able to tell it isn’t real.”
    Hawk sniffed loudly, unimpressed. Mistress Melanie produced a set of clothes for each of them, and thrust them unceremoniously into Hawk and Fisher’s arms. “Try these for size. They’re based on the statistics in your official records, but I’ve had to make some allowances. From the look of you, you’ve both put on some weight since then. Come on, get a move on; I’ve got to know if I have to make more alterations, and we’ve still got your makeup to do.”
    Hawk looked at her and raised an eyebrow meaningfully. Mistress Melanie’s mouth twitched. “I’ll wait outside while you change. Call me if you have any problems.”
    She left, closing the door firmly behind her. Hawk took his first good look at his new clothes, and his heart sank. The latest male fashion for the Quality still consisted of tightly cut trousers, a padded jerkin with a chin-high collar, and knee-length leather boots. Plus some rather utilitarian long underwear. The jerkin and trousers were both navy blue with gold thread trim. The military look was in this Season. He looked across at Fisher, and smiled as he saw she was even less enchanted with her new clothes. There was a long flowing gown of lilac blue with frothy lace trim, a great deal of frilly underwear, a formidable-looking corset, and a pair of fashionable shoes that looked hideously uncomfortable. Fisher picked up the corset with a thumb and forefinger and held it out at arm’s length, studying it dubiously.
    “Look on the bright side,” said Hawk. “At least there isn’t a bustle.”
    “Do we really have to do this, Hawk?” said Fisher.
    “Well, we could fight our way out of here, and make a run for it.”
    “Don’t tempt me.” Fisher sighed heavily, and began stripping off her furs. “The things I do in the line of duty ...”
    It took them the best part of half an hour to climb into their new clothes. There were endless buttons and hooks and eyes, and they all had to be done up in just the right order. Hawk could only just get into the trousers. Even with Mistress Melanie’s allowances for his somewhat expanded waistline, it was a very tight fit. Fisher had even more trouble with the corset. Hawk ended up having to put a knee in the middle of her back while he pulled the cords tight. Fisher’s language became increasingly awful, until finally she was forced to give up from lack of breath. Finally, the ordeal was over, and they stood together before a full-length mirror, judging the effect.
    Despite everything, Hawk had to admit they looked the part. Before them in the mirror stood a gentleman and young lady of the Quality, dressed impeccably in the latest finery. Hawk looked splendid and striking, though the scars on his face still gave him a sinister air, and Fisher looked absolutely stunning. The corset had given her a magnificent hourglass figure, and the long gown made her look even taller. She winked at Hawk coquettishly over her paper fan, and they both laughed.
    “Been a long time since we looked this good,” said Hawk finally.
    “A long time,” said Fisher.
    Mistress Melanie knocked loudly, and swept in without waiting for an answer. She looked them both up and down, and nodded curtly. “You’ll do. Now let’s see what we can achieve with a little makeup.”
    Another half hour passed before the wardrobe mistress allowed Hawk and Fisher to look into a mirror again, and what they saw kept them silent for a long moment. Their skin was now fashionably pale instead of their usual tan. Fisher’s face had been expertly made up with rouge and eye shadow, taking the edge off the harsh lines, and softening the aggressive chin. Her long blond hair had been piled up on top of her head in a complicated design. Hawk’s face had changed completely; with the patch gone and the