Free Get Smart 4 - Max Smart and the Perilous Pellets by William Johnston

you my first theory, you had a question about it?”
    “Oh . . . yes. Max, since we’re heavier than the bubble, how will it float in the air? Won’t our weight—”
    The instant the question was out, the bubble burst, dropping Max and 99 into the water.
    “Max! What happened!” 99 cried, floundering in the ocean.
    “Well, my second theory was that my first theory wouldn’t actually work,” Max explained. “You see, that’s what happens when a man has a theory, and his theory is questioned. It’s proved to be wrong—and his bubble bursts.”
    99 shuddered. “Max . . . suppose your first theory had been right!” she said.
    “Don’t even think about it,” Max replied. “In that case, we’d still be trapped down there in the installation. And, worse yet, we’d be having seaweed for dinner!”
    The helicopter was hovering directly over them now.
    “I’m throwin’ down the ladder!” Lance Chalfont called.
    “Throw away!” Max replied.
    Lance Chalfont tossed a ladder out the open doorway. It hit the water and immediately sank.
    “There’s a joke on me!” Lance Chalfont hooted. “I shoulda held on to the other end!”
    “Well, live and learn!” Max shouted back. “Try again with something else!”
    “I’ll throw a rope,” Lance Chalfont replied.
    “Throw away! But, first, tie the other end to something!”
    “Gotcha, boy!”
    Lance Chalfont disappeared from the opening for a moment, then reappeared, holding a coil of rope. He tossed it out the doorway.
    Max caught the rope, and pulled, testing his weight against it. The rope gave. A picnic basket came through the opening, fell through the air, struck Max a glancing blow on the head, then disappeared below the surface.
    “Let me guess what you tied the rope to,” Max shouted.
    “Did I do somethin’ wrong, boy?”
    “Get another rope,” Max called. “Tie it to something that’s anchored down. Tie it to a seat!”
    “I’ll tie it to your seat!” Lance Chalfont shouted back. “If I’m gonna lose a seat, I don’t want it to be mine. That’s how us silent birdmen fly, you know, by our seats.”
    “We’re drowning!” Max bellowed. “Hurry!”
    “Gotcha, boy!”
    Lance Chalfont disappeared from sight once more. Then a second later he reappeared and tossed a second rope out the opening.
    Max tested it and found it firm.
    “Lady secret agents first,” Max said, passing the rope to 99.
    Minutes later, they reboarded the helicopter.
    “Get your pea planted?” Lance Chalfont asked.
    “Indeed we did,” Max smiled. “Now, on to the next destination. Which is—” He opened the black satchel and got out a sheaf of papers. “—the KAOS training school in Switzerland,” he announced. “Lance, do you think you can find Switzerland?”
    “Sure. That’s that place with them tall prairies.”
    “Mountains, you mean.”
    “Is that what they’re called? No wonder they didn’t know what I was talkin’ about that day I came draggin’ back to the airport without my airplane! I told ’em I’d hit a tall prairie. They looked at me like I had my ailerons on backwards. I guess we just wasn’t communicatin’.”
    “That was probably it,” Max nodded.
    “Well, here goes nothin’!” Lance Chalfont beamed, swinging the helicopter in the direction in which he guessed Switzerland might be.
    “Max, shouldn’t you report in?” 99 asked.
    “Good idea, 99.”
    Max took off his shoe, poured ocean water from it, then dialed.

    Operator: Max! Stop it!
    Max (puzzledly): What did I do, Operator?
    Operator: You got water all over me! It came pouring out of my receiver!
    Max: Sorry about that, Operator. Will you connect me with the Chief now, please?
    Operator: This is a $7.95 dress! It’s ruined!
    Max: I’ll buy you a new dress, Operator.
    Operator: With what? You can’t even collect your overtime. They still owe you a $1.74, you know.
    Max: All right, Operator. Put it on the bill—on Control’s bill.
    Chief: I heard that, Max.