Free A Searching Heart by Janette Oke Page A

couldn’t wait to be there with him. That’s the only reason you chose Webster. For Jamison!”
    Virginia flushed. “I admit I want to be with Jamison. What’s wrong about that? But it wasn’t so I could keep my eye on him. Jamison doesn’t need . . .”
    But Jenny “hahed” again in a very loud voice and tossed her red hair. “You don’t think there are other girls after him? I would be if I were there.”
    Truthfully, Virginia had never entertained the thought before. Of course there would be other girls after him. Jamison was a very attractive young man.
    â€œJamison wouldn’t . . .”
    Jenny’s “hah” was accompanied this time with a loud, brassy laugh.
    Virginia, too, tossed her head. “He told me he’s much too busy with football to even think about social things. He’s been worried how we would find time to be together when I got there.”
    Jenny swore and exclaimed, “I’d dump a guy who thought more of his football than he did of me.”
    â€œIt’s not that.”
    Jenny cocked her head to one side and gave Virginia a knowing look. “No?”
    â€œNo, it isn’t. It’s just that it’s very important that he do well. If he wants a career as a player, then he has to give football his full attention right now. It’s not that he’s forgotten me. He writes. . . .”
    Jenny gave a dismissive sniff, so Virginia let the words trail off. Jenny could never be convinced of anything once she had made up her mind. But then Jenny surprised her by completely changing her tone.
    â€œI’m sorry, Virginia. Really sorry. It would have been good for you to get away and find out what the world is really about. Have a little fun. Learn to live a little. You are so . . . so staid and . . . and responsible.”
    Jenny spat out the last word as though it were something disgraceful. Virginia could feel her hackles rising again. “I wasn’t planning to let college change that, Jenny,” she threw at her friend.
    Jenny gave her a long, hard look. “Then you have completely missed the point of what college is all about, Virginia,” she said scathingly and turned and walked away.
    â€”——
    It was the hardest letter Virginia had ever written, but she had to let Jamison know she would not be joining him for the fall term.
    In his own letters, Jamison always asked about Clara and the new baby, so Virginia was confident that he shared her concern, at least as far as he was able, being so far away and so busy with his job and football. She was sure he would understand her decision, would even support her in making the choice to stay to help her mother. Yet it would be disappointing to him, just as it was to her. He had to know immediately so he could make the difficult mental and emotional adjustments before classes started.
    It was hard to strike a proper balance in her letter. Hard to let him know her deep disappointment without making it sound like she felt herself a martyr for making the decision that she had. She didn’t want him to believe that she was thinking, Poor little me—I’m giving up so much to be a good little girl. Yet she did not want him to think that she didn’t feel deep sorrow over more long months apart.
    Virginia wrote and tore up four copies before she was satisfied that the words on the pages properly conveyed her feelings without sounding maudlin.
    She delivered the letter to the post office herself and slipped the envelope into the letter slot. Inwardly she worried about what her missive would do to Jamison. It was not just her plans she was disturbing. It was his plan, as well. In fact, he was the one who had chosen the college he felt to be right for both of them.
    Virginia felt very close to tears again as she made her way back home to the stack of baby laundry.
    â€”——
    Jenny was bubbling with enthusiasm, as if they had not