Free A Searching Heart by Janette Oke

college.”
    Belinda’s surprise showed on her face. “Whatever do you mean?”
    â€œIt isn’t the right time just now.” Virginia kept her voice carefully matter-of-fact.
    â€œBut you had your heart set—”
    â€œI know. But it will wait. Clara seems to be getting a bit stronger. Maybe I’ll be able to go next year. Maybe I’ll only have to miss one term and can go after Christmas. But now . . .”
    â€œAre you sure?”
    â€œI’m sure.”
    Virginia watched as her mother’s whole body seemed to relax. She knew without doubt that her decision had been good news for her mother. She could see the relief written all over her face.
    But then Belinda said, “You think about it a bit more. Pray about it. I don’t want . . .”
    â€œMama, I have already prayed and thought,” said Virginia with finality. She didn’t add that she had also cried well into the night.
    Belinda’s eyes searched her face, then she nodded. She sighed deeply and lowered herself to a kitchen chair.
    Virginia was afraid she was going to start crying again. Determinedly she held her emotions in check.
    â€œI won’t pretend, Virginia,” Belinda said slowly, her own emotions making her voice shaky. “I didn’t know how we would ever make it without you. But I so much wanted . . . I mean, this is . . . so difficult to ask you to put aside your plans for us.”
    â€œYou didn’t ask me, Mama.”
    â€œI know. I couldn’t. Really. I have wanted you to be able to follow your own dreams. Not . . . not be forced to lay them aside for us. For me. And Clara. I know how excited you have been about going to college. About being with Jamison.”
    Virginia managed a smile. “That will wait,” she said, speaking the words as much to convince herself as her mother.
    â€œJenny goes off in a couple of weeks.”
    â€œJenny isn’t even going to the same college.”
    â€œI know, but—”
    â€œIt’s all right, Mama. I am convinced that this is the right decision.”
    Belinda smiled and reached out a hand to brush back a strand of hair from her daughter’s cheek. Virginia needed all her willpower to keep tears from overflowing her eyes.
    She did know she had done the right thing, but still it was very hard to put her own future on hold.
    Later that night her father sought a few minutes with her alone.
    â€œI can’t tell you how proud I am of you,” he began with a warm hug. “I know how much you wanted to go to college. I didn’t want to deter you from doing that, but frankly, I have been so worried about your mother. She’s pushed herself to near exhaustion. I’ve tried to find help, but so far every woman I can think of seems to have all she can do to keep up with her own household. Thank you, Virginia, for making this sacrifice. I don’t suppose there’s anything you could have done to convince me of your . . . your maturity and selflessness more than this has.”
    It was enough for Virginia.
    â€”——
    Jenny was shocked when she heard the news.
    â€œHow could you?” she demanded. “I can’t wait to get out of this dumpy little town. I wouldn’t stay on here for anybody.”
    Virginia could have responded that if that was the case, Jenny did not understand about family. But she held her tongue.
    â€œI can’t imagine why you want to stay,” Jenny ranted on. “This place is—”
    â€œIt’s not that I want to,” Virginia finally broke in. “My family needs me, Jenny. Mama is going to collapse if she doesn’t have help. And, anyway, I wasn’t going to college to escape this place. I like it here. I was going for an education.”
    â€œHah,” scoffed Jenny. “You were going so you could keep your eye on your Jamison, and you know it.”
    â€œI was not.”
    â€œYou were, too. You