Free 01 - Battlestar Galactica by Jeffrey A. Carver - (ebook by Undead)

glass of water, a little too quickly.
    Lee’s words came even more quickly. “I’m glad to hear that, sir, will that be
all?”
    His defenses finally broke, for a moment—but he still couldn’t turn toward
his son. “Why don’t you talk to me, Lee?”
    “Wh—” Lee began to laugh openly. “Well, what do you want to talk about?”
    “About anything. You’ve been here for an hour.”
    “Well, I don’t have anything to say.” He began walking toward Adama, but his
posture was anything but conciliatory. “My orders said to report here for the
ceremony. So, I’m here.” He produced a pained smile that was bursting with anger. “And I’m going to participate in
the ceremony. But there wasn’t anything in my orders about having heart-to-heart
chats with the old man.”
    Adama tried to conceal his wince of anguish. “Accidents happen … in
the service,” he said quietly looking up at the wall. And there it was, the
inescapable memory: the ruin of the Viper, the flag-draped coffin, the utterly
distraught Kara grieving for her lost fiancé. Adama and the boys’ mother—already
divorced—grieving separately for their dead son. And Lee, not grieving so much
as bitterly angry. And he’d been angry ever since.
    “Dad. Listen, I—”
    “You know, all the things that you talked about, the last time we were
together—” The things that practically killed me, then and now…
    “I really don’t want to—”
    “—at the funeral—” Words that still echo like gunshots.
    “I really don’t want to do this.”
    “—they still ring in my ears, after two years.”
    “Good!” Lee barked, fire flashing in his eyes. He hesitated, gathered
himself a little. His face was still drawn taut as he said, “Good, because…
because you know what? They were meant to.”
    Adama allowed no reaction to surface. He couldn’t; the pain ran way too deep.
“Zak had a choice, you both did.” He raised his chin and scowled at the wall.
    Lee snorted, gesturing angrily. “A man isn’t a man… until he wears the
wings of a Viper pilot. Doesn’t that sound at all familiar to you?”
    Stung to the quick, but unwilling to show it, Adama raised his glass and
answered stoically, “That’s not fair, son.” He took another sip of water.
    “No, it’s not fair.” Lee stood close now, making his points like rapier
stabs. “Because one of us wasn’t cut out to wear the uniform.”
    “He earned his wings just like we all did.”
    “One of us wasn’t cut out to be a pilot. One of us wouldn’t have
even gotten into flight school if his old man, his daddy, hadn’t
pulled the strings!”
    “That’s an exaggeration,” Adama replied. “I did nothing for him that I
wouldn’t have done for anyone else.” Did I? Lords of Kobol, did I?
    Lee appeared dumbstruck. He struggled to find words. “You’re not even
listening to me! Why can’t you get this through your head? Zak did not belong in that plane!” Gesturing futilely, Lee paused for breath. “He shouldn’t
have been there. He was only doing it for you.” Lee collected himself and
delivered his words coolly, with a tiny, deadly smile. “Face it. You killed
him.”
    The words hit Adama with the force of a physical blow. He grimaced very
slightly, but refused to allow the pain to show on his face. Did I? No, damn
it, I didn’t. But if that’s how you really feel, there’s nothing more to be
said, is there? Without turning to face Lee, the commander dismissed him in
his gravelly voice: “That’ll be all, Captain.”
    Lee stood for about ten seconds, stunned by the dismissal, struggling with
his own pain, perhaps trying to think of something more to say. Perhaps wishing
he could take it back. Adama remained unmoved. Lee finally turned and strode
from the room. Adama stood silent for a long time after that, head bowed in
grief and pain, and in regret for all the words. He had never felt quite so…
old… as he did now. Old, and used, and wondering how his