Free Born Different by Faye Aitken-Smith

if he could picture them all as just
strangers.
    “Gabe!” Frank
shouted over, way too loudly and slightly too high pitched so that
the few other people in the park turned to look. Dave punched Frank
in the arm as Gabe waved, signalling he was the ‘Gabe’ in
question as he walked towards sound of the shrill. Everyone else
went back about their own business, drinking Special Brew, walking
their dog. Only the hard core parkers were out early in the
rain.
    It was always
an odd crowd out during the weekday in this park. It wasn’t one of
the nicer ones in the city, even if the playground was new. All the
people who were usually unwelcome in the nice parks or anywhere by
everyone else, made this park theirs for the most part of the
day.
    This was the
park for the occasional young couple looking for somewhere secluded
to get it on because they had nowhere else to go. This was the park
for the local familiar looking group of drunks that traipsed
around, claiming the same bench, before the daily fight broke out.
The park bench fight that must always be resolved as they always
returned the next day, like nothing had happened. They weren’t much
welcome anywhere either. And this park was for those that had to
walk their dogs for a bit of exercise and a piss and a shit. No one
welcomed them, not even the unwelcome.
    The Damned
always met at this park. It was central to all their needs, it was
free. They were rarely asked to leave and from this park Gabe could
also, on occasion, if he was lucky, spy on Grace who not only
walked to and from school on the road that ran along the side of
park but out of school hours, Grace also invariably hung out at the
street cafe on the corner of the park with her gang of friends. All
sitting on the outdoor benches, under umbrellas with fancy electric
over-head heating to keep warm on all the cold days. Grace and her
friends had the money to drink white wine and cappuccinos and eat
fairy cakes all afternoon. Grace and her friends were living the
high life, in the fast track, with plenty of cash in their pockets.
Gabe assumed that their main concerns were how they were going to
spend all the money they had, which high street shops, spas or wine
bars deserved their patronage. Their lives looked like a lot of
fun, they were always laughing.
    Gabe walked the
path down towards his friends, keeping his head down as much to
avoid standing in dog shit as to avoid eye contact with the other
outcasts.
    Gabe hoped he
would catch sight of Grace again today. He was always looking out
for Grace. It was like his brain was always trying to catch her in
his peripheral vision. It was odd but he sort of knew when she was
about, it was like he had a sixth sense for her presence.
Sometimes, Gabe thought that he really did will her into being,
that the intensity of his mental vision of her, combined with the
intense feelings he had for her, actually caused her to be
there.
    It wasn’t true
of course. Gabe didn’t even think it was one of those coincidences
his mum liked to talk about. It was just one of those things that
happened when you put your attention on something, or the fact that
Gabe hung out in places where he thought that she might possibly
be.
    Gabe thought
that Grace never really saw him though. Once in a while she would
catch his eye and smile and her friends; her cool, clever and
beautiful friends, would laugh. Grace’s friends were always
laughing and at him he often thought. Laughing at the weirdo, the
deformed one. Grace’s friends were always so happy, basking in the
sun that shone out of their collective arses. But those times that
Grace had smiled at him, those times could make him happy for a
whole week. Even the thought of it made him smile.
    Gabe’ s friends were hyper today which brought his mood straight back
down.
    “Yo! What’s up
Gabe? You looking like you got the world on your shoulders,”
laughed Dave, “No offence mate.”
    “None taken
Dave.” It was an old joke.
    “We all up