Free The Hidden Years by Penny Jordan

hostel.
    Mindful of Kit's commands, she had rifled frantically
through her meagre wardrobe, looking in vain for anything that might be
described as 'pretty'. There wasn't anything, of course, but she could
unpin her hair from its braids, brush it until it shined and leave it
hanging loose.
    That it felt odd and slightly uncomfortable didn't matter.
Kit had demanded it of her, and for him she was prepared to make any
sacrifice…do anything that might please him.
    Now though, confronted by the amused scrutiny of the other
girls who also had the time off from working at the hospital, she felt
acutely self-conscious, her face burning as she stammered an assent.
    'Not going to go out wearing that, are you?' another girl
commented, grimacing.
    Lizzie blushed harder. She wasn't used to confiding in
others, to encouraging intimacy with them. Aunt Vi always kept her at a
distance and had taught her to do the same to others.
    'I… I don't have anything else.'
    It shamed her to admit it. She bent her head forwards, so
that her curtain of hair swung across her face.
    'I could lend you something,' one of the girls offered.
'We're about the same size.'
    'Give over, Rosie, you might be the same height, but she's
much thinner than you.'
    'Not that much,' Rosie protested. 'She could wear that
dress I got from Meg the other week. With a belt round the waist.'
    'Well, I suppose she could try it, only she's going to
need a bit of make-up as well, isn't she? And some decent shoes. What
size do you take, Lizzie?'
    Thoroughly bemused, Lizzie stood there while they argued
good-naturedly and loudly all around her.
    'It's a pity you didn't think to put your hair in rags
last night,' one of them told her. 'Then it would have a bit of a curl
to it. You're lucky to be so blonde. Men really go for that. What is
he? Yank?'
    'No, no, he's—'
    'Here's the dress,' Rosie interrupted. 'Come on, Lizzie,
try it on.'
    Suddenly she was one of them, an outsider no longer, but
she flinched when they laughed at her sturdy utilitarian underwear.
    'Heavens, just look at it,' one of them derided as she
slipped off her cardigan and blouse to reveal the heavy cotton
brassiere which, like the rest of her clothes, had been inherited from
someone else.
    Normally she tried to undress and dress in privacy. Aunt
Vi had always made her feel somehow that her body was something she
ought to be ashamed of and, even when she had had the luxury of her own
bedroom, she had always studiously avoided looking at herself.
    Now she blushed deeply as one of the older girls announced
cynically, 'My God, whoever he is, he's going to get a shock when he
sees that. Let's hope he's in the artillery. They're used to dealing
with armour plating.'
    The other girls laughed, but it was good-natured laughter,
Lizzie recognised.
    'You'll have to take it off,' Rosie told her decisively,
and before she could protest the other girl had stepped behind her and
unsnapped the fastener.
    She had never stood in front of anyone before clad in only
her knickers and she felt a sharp stab of shock ricochet through her
system as she realised how easily she was shedding Aunt Vi's rules.
    'Look at her,' someone said mockingly. 'She doesn't need
to wear anything. There's hardly anything of her.'
    'No, but at least what she's got is in the right place,'
another girl responded.
    Rosie turned to her and said kindly, 'Don't pay any
attention to Mavis, she's jealous because her boyfriend says her chest
is too big… Poor Mavis. She's used to them thinking it's
wonderful. She needed taking down a peg or two. The rest of us were
sick of hearing about how wonderful her forty inches were…
Here you are, get this on,' she instructed, handing her a flimsy cotton
garment.
    Lizzie hesitated as she stared at the fabric, its white
background rather dingy from too many washings of a poor-quality cloth.
The fabric was overprinted with a too-busy design of bright red and
yellow flowers that made her feel slightly dizzy, but everyone