Free Two Sides of the Same Coin by Jake Mactire

something.”
    “Mornin’ to you too,” I said thickly. That much water so fast was making me a bit queasy. I looked in the mirror above the sink. I looked like hell—circles under my eyes, and a hang dog expression on my face.
    “Do you remember last night?”
    “Bits and pieces, why?”
    “I suppose you don’t remember telling that blond cowboy that he has a cute ass.”
    I reddened a bit. I didn’t remember, but I ain’t exactly shy, and Mike has an adorable little ass, so I probably did. “Well, he does. You even said it yourself. No harm done, I don’t think. If he’s pissed, I’ll apologize.”
    “Don’t bother apologizing to that little cock teasing bastard! About the tenth time I ran to the john last night, I realized they must have spiked my food with something! That’s why they were being so friendly.”
    “Remember when I told you not to eat it if it was too hot for you? I saw a bottle of super hot sauce on the counter and figured they might’a put some in your posole. That’s why I also told you they were funnin’ with you. Worse thing you can do with ’em is tryin’ to BS your way through. They’ll respect you if you do say it’s too hot.” Robert glared at me, as I reached into the cabinet in my bathroom and got some aspirin.
    “They were all in on it, weren’t they? Even the women! And they were making fun of me all night. You told me, and I finally realized that when I thought about some of their comments, ‘the ladies are drinking lemonade do you want some? We cut the spice down for the ladies. Is that okay with you?’ Bastards! How can you deal with trash like that? Oh, yes, I forgot, you like garbage. You like it enough to lust after that blond cretin’s ass.”
    “Robert, I’m sorry if I caused ya any upset. I’m not in the mood to argue right now.”
    “That fucking blond guy couldn’t keep his eyes off you when we had to carry you to bed and undress you last night. All he is, is a tease. I told him he was welcome to stay with me, and he told me ‘Nope, you’re in a relationship with a guy I respect’.”
    “You came on to Mike last night?”
    “You haven’t been sleeping with me.”
    “Well, Robert, with the constant put downs you throw my way, and that holier than thou attitude, you sure as hell ain’t been very attractive lately.” I could feel my temper rising, and I didn’t care. “You say you want me to come back to San Francisco with you, but all you do is put me, my life, my friends, and what I like to do down. I am fucking sick and tired of it.”
    “As I have repeatedly said, Jeffrey, I am trying to change you for your own good.”
    “No, you’re not! You’re tryin’ to change me since you realized that your cowboy fantasy is great when you want a roll in the hay. To have a real cowboy park his boots under your bed is a threat to you. You told me about when you were just a little guy bein’ teased about bein’ a sissy. Well, I got teased too. And I beat the crap out of the motherfucker that did it. That threatens you. Any display of masculinity that’s not fake scares you. And Robert, I am sick and fucking tired of your shit. If you really loved me, if you ever loved me, you would accept me for who I am. All I was to you was a cowboy fantasy. You need to get the hell outta here and get back to San Francisco. ’Cause I sure as hell don’t want you anymore. This is where I belong, and this is where I’m stayin’.”
    “I can’t believe you’d stay here in the middle of nowhere with all these hicks rather than be with me!”
    “Robert, I’m a hick too. Just like them. And I’m damn proud of it. Now git! Pack your stuff and leave.”
    “What about your things?”
    “I don’t reckon I’ve got a whole hell of a lot of stuff there. Just box it all up, and I’ll send you some money to send it to me.”
    “So this is it? You’re not even going to try to make our relationship work?”
    “You think that I haven’t tried to make it