Free Disenchanted by C L Raven Page B

his
wigwam bed. He directed me to woods and jumped out, his abnormally long tail
leading the way. I should've attached a light to it. I opened the boot and
slung Rob's carpet over my shoulder.
    The woods got darker the deeper
we travelled. Rob became heavier with each laborious step. Night creatures
rustled in the undergrowth, convincing me witnesses lurked within the shadowy
confines of the trees. Mephistopheles stopped, his eyes glowing in the meagre
moonlight. I collapsed under Rob's weight, landing on top of him. I freaked,
scuttling away and trying to control my rapid breaths.
    "Here's a good spot,"
Mephistopheles said. "Now dig."
    "I can't."
    "He's not a piece of litter.
If the council find him, they won't just slap you with a fly-tipping fine.
Hurry up, he's making the place look like a crime scene. You don't want
picnickers stumbling across him tomorrow. That'd really sour the cream."
    He inspected his boots for mud
while I trudged to the car for the spade and Pierre. The woods closed in, the
creepy trees whispering my heinous secret to each other. Mephistopheles sat on
a fallen log while I dug the grave.
    Every noise I heard, I was
convinced it was the police, or Rob and Pierre rising from the dead. I worked
faster, my nerves shredded. When the hole was deep enough, Mephistopheles
instructed me to put the bodies in without the carpets, so they couldn't be
traced back to me. I unrolled the carpets and tipped my brothers in to the
grave. They lay entangled in their eternal embrace. I tried closing their eyes,
but they kept opening.
    "That only happens on
TV," Mephistopheles informed me. "In real life you need
stitches."
    I quickly covered them in mud,
hating their accusing glares.
    I slung the carpets in the boot
and slammed it.
    "What you doing?" I whirled
around. A drunk man swayed, staring at my boot. "You're doing
something."
    "We're designing NASA's
space shuttle." Mephistopheles leapt off the roof, sending him crashing
into the dirt. He scratched and bit the man, wrapping his tail around his throat.
"Listen punk, we're minding our own business and I suggest you do the
same. If anyone asks, you saw nothing. Got it?" The man nodded, terrified.
Mephistopheles patted his face. "Good. Then we have an
understanding."
    "What are you doing?" I
hissed as the man hurried away.
    "Eliminating witnesses. I
would've killed him, but you look like you're about to die from exhaustion.
That's the trouble when only your arse has meat on it."
    "Sorry, if I'd known I'd
spend the evening killing and burying my brothers, I might've started weight
training."
    He waved his tail. "I
forgive your lack of forward planning. Home James! I need a wash. I've got mud
between my toes."
    "How? You didn't do any
digging."
    He jumped into the passenger seat
and spent the whole journey washing imaginary specks of mud off his fur and
debating whether or not a pirate coat would look ridiculous.
    The country lanes were black and
empty, the sports car slipping through them like a speeding bloodstain. I
locked the doors, worried my brothers' corpses would stumble out of the
hedgerows, their lifeless eyes hungry for my soul.
    I was relieved to reach the main
road. It stretched before me, deserted but flanked by lights to banish the
shadows of guilt.
    Pulsating blue lights in my
interior mirror blinded me. A siren wailed briefly before being swiftly
silenced.
    "I think he wants you to
pull over." Mephistopheles checked the wing mirror. Cursing, I stopped, my
heart thundering. This was it. "Thank god he didn't pull us over en route.
Not even flashing some leg and batting your lashes would get you out of that
mess." The police officer's footsteps marched along the tarmac. "Let
me do the talking."
    "Oh yeah ' cos a talking cat isn't at all suspicious."
    He bit my hand. I swore and
cradled it.
    The officer tapped my window. I
jumped and lowered it.
    "Were you aware you were
speeding?"
    "Were you aware your
moustache makes you look like a seventies porn star?"