Free Selby Shattered by Duncan Ball Page A

clock made of flowers.
    S

I’m Not a Trotter or a Pacer
    by Selby Trifle

    I’m not a trotter or a pacer,
Or any other kind of racer.
To tell the truth I’m not so fast,
I only ever come dead last.
    But there’s a race I’d love to win,
If only they would let me in.
Yes I would set a cracking pace,
If I could join the
human
race.
     

The Movie Magic of Jigsaw Jabbar
    ‘Who’s that strange-looking boy?’ Dr Trifle said to Mrs Trifle.
    It was Saturday morning and the Trifles were strolling through Bogusville with Selby.
    ‘Which one?’
    ‘The barefoot one wearing a torn T-shirt and pants that are all ragged and falling down. He must be very poor. Do you think he’d let us buy him a belt?’
    ‘I don’t think he’s poor,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That’s the way young people dress these days. And he’s not a boy — he’s a young man named Jigsaw Jabbar. He’s getting to be quite a famous fantasy film-maker.’
    ‘He doesn’t look old enough to be a famous anything,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘I wonder where he got that name — Jigsaw.’
    ‘It’s a nickname. His real name is Jabbar something-or-other. When he was ten, he was the world champion jigsaw puzzler. He could put a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle together in two-and-a-half minutes. And that was with the picture side face-down so he could only see the back of the pieces.’
    ‘Goodness me, I can’t even do them right-side up. How do you know all this?’
    ‘I said hello to him the other day and we had a nice chat. He’s given up jigsaw puzzles and started making movies.’
    ‘What sort of movies?’
    ‘Those ones with knights and castles and people fighting weird monsters. You and I saw one on DVD. Remember a film called
Dragon Mist Enigma?
That was one of his.’
    ‘He made that?!’ Selby thought. ‘That was brilliant! I loved all that stuff with fighting monsters.’
    ‘He made that?’ Dr Trifle said. ‘I liked it but there was too much monster-fighting for me.’
    ‘We also saw
Legions of the Fire King
and
Snow Dream Castle.‘
    ‘I loved those films, too!’ Selby thought. ‘I can’t believe he’s actually here in Bogusville!’
    ‘He’s hired the Bogusville Bijou Movie Theatre to use as a studio,’ Mrs Trifle continued. ‘He’s just finishing a movie in there right now.’
    ‘He must have hundreds of people working for him,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘It’s funny that I haven’t seen more strangers around town.’
    ‘I know,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I haven’t seen any other strangers, either. They’re probably working so hard that they never leave the theatre.’
    ‘What I’d like to know is, if he’s such a bigtime film-maker, why isn’t he working in Hollywood? Or New Zealand?’
    ‘He said he likes the peace and quiet here. And he doesn’t like people snooping around when he’s making a movie. Bogusville people don’t snoop around.’
    ‘Maybe not,’ Selby thought, ‘but there’s one Bogusville
dog
who does. I think I might just drop in to the Bogusville Bijou and have a squiz. I know what these movie sets are like. They’ll be so busy that no one will even notice me .
    It was a silent dog that tiptoed out of the Trifle’s house that afternoon and trotted down to the Bogusville Bijou. And it was a curious dog that climbed up a pile of boxes and in through a window at the back of the theatre.
    ‘Hey, it’s as quiet as a graveyard in here,’ Selby thought. ‘Where is everyone?’
    A beam of light shone through a crack in the curtain. Selby moved slowly towards it.
    ‘Who is it?’ a voice demanded.
    ‘Someone’s heard me!’ Selby thought.
    ‘Yes, Harry, it’s me, Jigsaw,’ the voice said again.
    ‘Phew,’ Selby phewed. ‘He’s just talking on his mobile.’
    ‘Okay, okay,’ Jigsaw said. ‘Stop worrying. We’re almost finished. Trust me. We’ve been working around the clock for the past four days. We haven’t had a wink of sleep. I’ll upload the film to you in about an hour. You can screen it as