Free Hooked (TKO #2) by Ana Layne

myself staring at them over and over again looking for some sort of hidden encryption. I’ve found nothing. It’s pretty plain and simple. She’s sorry and she’s really chosen him and I’m a total, complete fuck up. I’m back to fucking random women in the bar, and I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I wanted to be the guy for her, but she doesn’t want me.
    I stare at a picture of my mom and try to imagine what she would tell me to do in this crazy situation. Would she tell me to just give up on her and move on with my life? Or would she tell me to suck it up and fight for what I want? I’m positive she would tell me to fight for her. Fighting is what I do, in the ring and outside of the ring. Fighting is also what got me into this mess.
    “Mom, I really don’t know what to do.” I sit on my bed, fixated on the photograph. “I’ve never felt so drawn to a woman. I’m not sure what it is about her, but she makes me want to change everything. I would change anything for her, but she won’t give me the chance. I just want to show her I can be a gentleman, like the guy I was to her back in high school. You raised me right, Mom. I know I haven’t always been the best guy in the world when it comes to women, but I want to be better.”
    I stare back at the picture with tears forming in my eyes. It’s just a picture, and she can’t answer me. God, I’d give anything to be able to hear her voice again. I bring the picture to my lips and softly kiss her angelic face. “I love you, Momma.”
    I tuck the picture gently into my wallet and set it on my nightstand. Lying back on my bed, I stare at the ceiling fan as it whirls around. The whirling of the fan reminds me of my life. One huge swirling vortex of chaos. Chaos is taking over and ruining everything for me, so I’m putting my foot down. It’s time to overcome the chaos and turn things around. First thing in the morning, I’m setting things straight. I’ll go to Lou’s to talk to Howard. Then, I don’t give a flying fuck what Travis says, I’m talking to Hilary.
     
    ***
     
    For the first time in a while, I wake up feeling refreshed. In the back of my mind, I’m know this is going to be a good day. Dad is already gone when I make my way to the kitchen, but he left enough coffee for me. I grab one of my mom’s favorite coffee cups. The paint is chipped on the side, and there’s a crack at the top, but it’s still the perfect cup. I fill it to the brim with the dark liquid and then add a little creamer to turn it the perfect shade of light brown. I sit at the kitchen table like Mom and Dad used to do, but today it’s only me. All my plans for the day play through my mind. Howard is going to see that I’m ready to get back to work, and with any luck Hilary will see just how genuine I can be. I want it to go right. It has to. If it doesn’t, it just may break me more inside.
    I finish my cup, and decide to get out of the house. I’ll never know what will happen until I drag my ass out of here. Nothing can kill my mood today. Optimism is running through my veins. I’m making today my bitch.
    I change my clothes and grab my keys. Walking out the door, Mother Nature decides to piss on my parade. The skies are a gloomy shade of gray and a rumble in the distance signifies a coming storm. I should have checked the weather. Sighing, I walk to my truck and begin my drive to Lou’s. I knew I missed the place, but I never realized just how much I did until I pulled into my parking spot. Garrett’s truck is on one side of me, and Howard’s vehicle on the other.
    I open my door and the gravel crunches beneath my shoes. Another rumble of thunder fills the dark sky followed by a few sprinkles of rain. Time to get inside. I reach out for the doorknob and hold onto it for a split second. It’s now or never. This is the first step in getting my life back in order. This is my world.
    I walk into Lou’s, and it feels as if I’ve been gone for an eternity.