next to me in the middle of the elevator. He was a
little too close to my personal space that I slowly took a step forward.
I took deep quiet breaths trying to calm
myself down. But it wasn’t helping. It was making it worse. I was starting to
panic and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.
The elevator couldn’t be any slower. I
needed to see James. And he was right at the bottom waiting for me. James had a
way of comforting me. Before I know it I will be in his strong arms and out of
this cold elevator. Making me feel safe. He will be there and I’ll be away from
the small elevator.
The elevator finally made it to the
first floor and opened, James was standing outside the elevator looking outside
the glass doors towards the parking lot. He turned around immediately and
looked surprised as I ran up into his arms and hugged him tightly.
“Are you okay?” He kissed the top of my
head as he looked inside the elevator. Worry was etched onto his face and I
felt so bad for making him become just as paranoid as me.
“I’m fine now.” I said and took his
hand, “We should get going though. I’m starving.”
He nodded and glanced back at the
elevator one last time as he held the door open for me. I heard a deep growl or
something come from him but brushed it off as a guy trying to be manly and ‘not
cute’.
We talked a bit during dinner but I
could tell his mind was elsewhere. He’s been edgier than me since the night of
the attack and has been extra edgy after picking me up today. He kept looking
in the rear view mirror like we were being followed and kept his eye on the
outside of the restaurant from the window.
“Are you okay?” I asked when I noticed
his glare as he scanned the restaurant.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled, “How was
work?”
“Good…just stressful. Jennifer is
constantly following me around trying to get a glimpse of my presentation. I
think she lost her creative touch and can’t come up with ideas for hers. If she
spent less time trying to figure out what I was doing she would probably come
up with better ideas.” I smiled at the thought, “How about you?” I asked and
noticed he was still zoned out.
He didn’t answer.
“You know… you’re excuse was to protect
me. That’s why you won’t let me drive to and from work… but you’re more zoned
out than I am.” I said and nudged his leg from under the table.
He jumped in his seat a little, “Sorry
baby, I was just thinking…”
“About what?” There was something clearly
on his mind for a while but he won’t say what it was. I had a feeling he was
keeping something from me. I always did. And it was slowly coming to the
surface but he was hesitating telling me.
“I…it’s nothing.” He hesitated and stared
at his plate of sushi.
“James…” I started wanting to
change the subject of work and protection, “Why are you so against me seeing
the gypsy again?”
I noticed his jaw tense and his knuckles
whiten. His tough guy mask was back as his shoulders stood straight and his
eyes looked angry, “Why are you asking?”
“I kind of wanted to… go to her again.” I
mumbled.
He put his drink down and stared at me. He
had never been mad at me before but he looked furious. “No.” he said quietly
but firmly.
“I just want to see her for some
comfort. She told me I should be careful and that attack happened. I just want
to know if it would happen again. Maybe she’ll have something to tell me---”
“Comfort? I can be around more. That should
be enough comfort, shouldn’t it? I won’t let anything happen to you.” He said
almost offended that I would ask to see Lana. His eyes drifted back to the
window and he looked worried again.
“Why won’t you let me see her? Is she an
ex or something?”
He looked shocked that I would even
think it, “No.”
“Then?”
“I just don’t want to lose you.” He said
quietly, probably not wanting me to hear but I did.
“Baby