Free The Seven Steps to Closure by Donna Joy Usher

Dinah
    I rang Nat’s home – it went to her answering service.
    ‘I’ve ordered the cab,’ said Dinah, ‘we’re going to have to go or miss it.’
    I flicked off a quick text to Nat and then locked Princess back in the apartment, giving her an array of toys to play with while I was gone. Grabbing my keys, I followed Dinah and Elaine down to wait for the cab.
    ‘I’m worried about Nat.’ I voiced my concerns out loud.
    ‘She’s probably just working on that case she was talking about,’ said Dinah.
    ‘You mean the case she wasn’t speaking about,’ retorted Elaine.
    ‘What do you mean?’ I asked.
    ‘Well didn’t you notice that she didn’t tell us anything about it? I know client confidentiality and everything, but normally she gives us a little whiff of what she’s working on. I think she’s up to something.’
    ‘What Nat? No,’ I said, ‘not Nat.’ I paused for a second. ‘Like what?’ I asked curiously.
    ‘I’m not sure. Have you noticed lately that she’s been super happy?’
    ‘It looks like she may get her promotion,’ I responded.
    ‘Not that sort of happy – more a suppressed, excited, I’ve got a secret, happy. And then that stuff she said the other morning after your birthday party.’
    ‘What stuff?’
    ‘All that stuff about changing the energy in your life. Oh and that bit about who says meaningless sex can’t become meaningful sex. It definitely triggered my suspicion bone.’
    While most people have funny bones, Elaine has a suspicion bone. She is always the first to question something, find the hole in your story or confront you with a lie you’ve told. She’s really very good. Almost like a human lie detector. For quite a while now I’ve been saying the FBI should employ her to question suspects. When we first became friends, I used to think she was a cruel pessimist – always the one to accuse some poor woman of murder when her toddler went missing and was found floating dead in a nearby pond. The thing was – over the years – I realised she was normally right. And without question, a few days after I had accused her of being a heartless shrew, that woman would be taken in for questioning and charged with the murder. Of course I would then have to perform a seriously grovelling apology for the heartless shrew comments. So when Elaine said she thought Nat was up to something, you had to sit up and pay attention.
    ‘No not Nat,’ I said, more out of loyalty than conviction.
    But in the cab on the way to the movie, as we chatted about our week, I found myself wondering. What was Nat up to?

3
The Second Step to Closure - Get a new Wardrobe
    Ahhhh, the joys of clothes shopping: the smell of the leather shoes, the feel of the fabrics under my fingertips, the sight of my dimpled white ass glowing in the fluorescent lighting. I was a vision to behold in the outfit I had just squeezed into. It had taken me a good five minutes to get the pants up. I had struggled and jumped up and down in the dressing room, until the sales assistant – hearing the moaning and groaning – had come to the door to see if I was all right.
    ‘I’m just great,’ I said in my best now-piss-off-and-leave-me-alone voice.
    ‘How does it look?’ asked Elaine brightly, from the other side of the door.
    ‘Fine and dandy, if you like muffin tops.’
    ‘How bad can it be?’
    ‘You have no idea.’
    ‘Are you ready to show me?’
    ‘Promise not to laugh.’
    ‘You know I can’t promise that,’ she said.
    I undid the lock and opened the door just enough to give one of Elaine’s eyes access to the disaster in the change room.
    ‘Oh dear,’ she said on viewing the pants. I had pulled them up as far as possible but the zip was only one inch long. I mean seriously how were you meant to wear these? Exactly what body shape had they been designed for?
    ‘Jump up and down,’ she said.
    I jumped about five centimetres off the ground a couple of times. I could feel the part of me flowing over