Free When Love Comes to Town by Tom Lennon

was never to let the conversation stray from the banal, keep cracking silly jokes, and never ever show even the slightest flicker of understanding as to what was really going on. It was flirtatious and cruel, he knew, but what else could he do?
    “Here’s my number anyway.” Sugar did his best to sound casual as he handed Neil his business card. “If you ever feel like having a chat or anything.” They were parked on the quietest part of Cross Avenue, half a mile from Neil’s house.
    Neil noticed that the poor fellow’s hands were trembling. “Yeah, definitely, I’ll give you a shout,” he tried to sound enthusiastic as he slipped the card into the pocket of his jacket.
    “Which house is your cousin’s?”
    “Ehh, it’s just over there.” Neil pointed vaguely toward a cluster of new houses.
    “Lovely place to live.”
    “Yeah…” Neil clicked the doorlock open. “I suppose I better go in before they all go to bed.”
    “D’you want me to wait till you check?” Sugar’s eyes flickered with faint hope.
    “No, no, it’s all right. They’re still up, the light’s on.” Neil hoped that his voice didn’t sound too panicky. “Thanks again for—” Neil flinched when he saw the older man leaning across to kiss his cheek. “Jesus, not here,” he said in an urgent whisper. Alarm bells clanged in Neil’s head. Sugar was looking deep into his eyes.
    “You’re beautiful, Gary, d’you know that?” he whispered, his voice tinged with desperation.
    Neil grimaced. He had seen this coming.
    “I mean that…and I really enjoyed meeting you,” Sugar added, his voice now pained with the hopelessness of the heartbroken.
    Neil met his stare and thought that he could be honest with this guy. This wasn’t Yvonne or one of the girls in Hollies; this was a guy who knew about him. But what could he say? Sorry, I like you and all that, but unfortunately you remind me of my old man. There was no easy way, he decided; he had to keep up the innocent act.
    “I enjoyed meeting you too.”
    “Do call me.”
    “I will,” Neil promised, climbing out of the car.
    “I’ve got some good videos you might be interested in seeing.”
    Neil grinned and gave one last Yvonne-style, wriggly finger wave before he closed the door. He stood on the pavement and waited for Sugar to drive off before he crossed the road and started his trek home.
    What a sad case , he thought. What would he do if he ended up like that himself? Not a chance; he had his family, and anyway he’d probably end up marrying Becky. And they’d have two kids just like Danny and Annie. His step lightened. A thick carpet of pink and white cherry blossom petals lay on the pavement, cushioning his footsteps, giving the impression that he was walking on snow.
    He smiled to himself as he remembered how he had inadvertently discovered where the gay bar was. It was after a rugby match in Castleknock and Dan, his brother-in-law, was driving him and two of his teammates home.
    “Don’t ever go into that place there by mistake, lads,” Dan had said, laughing as he pointed at the drab-looking pub.
    “Why not?” one of the lads in the backseat inquired innocently.
    “It’s one of them funny pubs,” Dan had said in an effeminate voice, flapping his wrist limply. Neil had felt his face burning as he joined the others in forced laughter. Neil “Judas” Byrne.
    The full moon peeped out from behind a cloud, pouring its eerie, silver light down upon the leafy neighborhood. So many times, he had taken this roundabout route home in the hope of a chance meeting, but so far, one fleeting glimpse through the frosted-glass front door was his only reward.
    A dim light glowed upstairs. Maybe it was his beloved’s bedroom, Neil thought, stopping at the gate and concentrating. He would communicate by telepathy. Thump-thump, thump-thump. Shut up, heart, you’ll waken the entire neighborhood. Right, if you’re there, Ian, give me a sign. Climb out of your bed, walk over to