makes it look so effortless.
Jack stops for a moment to push hair from his eyes. He sees me and hesitates. I'm in a good position. And Jez is right there, about to tackle him. He doesn't have much choice. He holds my gaze as he kicks the ball crossfield towards me.
I stop it with a soft thud. Control it. It's my big moment, my chance to prove myself. But already Deano's running towards me. I have to be quick. I head out towards the wing and really run. It's clear up ahead, everyone else is still back near Jack. I don't think they were expecting him to kick it out to me. I focus on getting to the makeshift goal, focus on knocking the ball ahead of me. I stretch out my legs. It feels good. It feels so good to be running so fast, to have everyone else behind me. From the corner of my eye I see Deano trying to catch me. Jack's running hard too, speeding down the other side of the pitch, not wanting me to get to the goal before he does. Even he can't catch me. And he's fast, usually faster than me. But not today.
When I get to the goal, there's still no one anywhere near me. So I just run it straight in. I'm too worried I'm going to miss if I kick it. I grin as I do. Shake my fist. I've just scored my first goal in front of my brother's mates. It feels amazing. I look back at them, find Crowy's face. He's grinning, too, holding his hands up above his head and clapping. Then suddenly Deano and Jack have caught up with me. They're panting hard, and both are glaring. I can understand why Deano's mad, but Jack? He jogs up to me, pulls his T-shirt up to wipe his face.
âI said I'd get the goals,â he growls.
He leans over, placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath. But I feel great, as if I could keep running for days. I walk over to him, poke him in the ribs.
âAren't you glad I did?â I say, smirking at him.
I start laughing. It starts as a small giggle, but then I can't control myself. I have to sit down on the grass I'm laughing so much. I press my hands to the damp ground and try to hold it in, but that just makes me snort. Jack looks down at me. He's still glaring at first, wanting me to shut up, but then even he starts smiling. He can't help it.
âYou're a loon,â he mutters.
âBut I'm a fast loon!â I'm still laughing so hard I can hardly get the words out.
âAll right, I'll give you that.â Jack straightens up then, sticks his hand down for me to grab. He pulls me back up to my feet. âCome on then, loon, the game's not over just because you score one goal.â
When I run back to position, I'm bouncing from foot to foot, eager to do it all again. I look across and see Crowy laughing at me. And then I realise. I haven't thought about Dad for ages, I've been having too much fun. It makes me feel guilty straight away.
CHAPTER 18
A ll the way to school, I try to convince Mum to let me stay with her.
âI just want to be with Dad,â I say. âWe're not learning anything at school now anyway. Just gearing up to Christmas.â
And it's true, we're not doing much and I do want to be with Dad. But it's more than that. The thought of going back to school now, after this weekend, without Saskia and with everything that's happened, just seems unbearable. Mum relents in the end.
âOK, I'll ask school if you can miss a day.â She catches my grin by looking in the rear-view mirror. âBut don't think you can make it a habit.â
âI don't know why I can't miss school too,â Jack grumbles.
âExams, that's why.â Mum pulls into the teacher's car parkand keeps the car running. âI won't be long.â She jogs into the office.
I glance around at the rest of the car park and hope that none of my teachers arrive while I'm here. Jack walks slowly to the school gates and Crowy comes out to meet him. I swallow quickly and almost wish I'd walked in with Jack. I watch as Crowy chucks his arm around Jack's shoulder and leans in to