Free Hunter - Big Girls & Bad Boys by D. H. Cameron Page A

hadn’t forgotten about me. Though I tried, I couldn’t forget about him either.
     
    “I guess I do,” I began, collecting my thoughts before continuing. I had tried to deny my feelings but suddenly, I didn’t care anymore about hiding them. “I figured you’d hate me after what I did,” I told Hunter.
     
    “I did,” he said plainly and then smiled. “For about two minutes,” he added. I smiled despite myself.
     
    “I was scared...of a lot of things. Our different lives and ideologies, the distance between us...but really, I was scared of how you made me feel. I wasn’t prepared for how easily those things slipped from the forefront of my life,” I said.
     
    “I don’t care. That’s the past. Look, I live a life where I can’t afford to linger too long on stuff, you know. I’m not afraid of my feelings. I’ve got much worse things to fear than my emotions,” he told me. I didn’t want to think about what that meant but I couldn’t help it. Hunter could be killed. I had to face that too.
     
    “How do you feel about me?” I wondered.
     
    “I don’t want to scare you again,” he said. But that did scare me. The possibilities were downright frightening but I needed to hear what Hunter had to say. I needed Hunter to confirm what I thought he was feeling. I needed to embrace the fear and face it head on.
     
    “Please, tell me,” I urged him. Hunter reached out and took my hands as he stared into my eyes. I was shaking, my mouth dry and my ears ringing. I felt as if I might explode.
     
    “I love you, Mel. I wanted to tell you before I deployed. I don’t expect anything in return. I just wanted you to know...just in case,” he said. The flood of emotions I held at bay came rushing forth. I began to cry and I wasn’t entirely sure what it was that I was crying about. Was it that Hunter loved me or that he felt compelled to tell me in case he never got the chance again? Both, I think.
     
    I...Hunter, I...,” I stammered. Somehow, I knew what Hunter was going to say but when I heard the words, I was still shocked and caught off guard.
     
    “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I wanted to see my family before I deployed but...,” Hunter said and then leaned in close after making sure we were alone. “I really came home to see you,” he whispered. I remembered that at Christmas Indigo had clearly heard her mother from the back of the house. I wondered how much of this conversation was really private, though I didn’t really care.
     
    “Hunter, we’re very different people and from very different worlds. I...I’m not sure...what I mean to say is...we’re just different,” I told him, pretty badly at that.
     
    “I know, Mel,” he said.
     
    “I don’t know how we could make it work. I’m not even sure we should try. I don’t want either of us to get hurt,” I said.
     
    “Life is pain. After boot camp, it can’t get much worse,” he said jokingly. I laughed, the tension eased a bit. “Seriously though, I don’t care. Everything in life is risky. I’d rather give it a go than wonder forever what might have happened. I mean it, Mel, I love you. I don’t know why but I do. You’re so pretty and fun to be around. You make me feel good. I thought my life was pretty complete until you hit on me at that party,” he said. I laughed, remembering that night. Hunter continued.
     
    “Look, this is three times. We’ve had three chances and each of us passed on one of the first two. But we keep coming back to one another. The universe is trying to tell us something,” Hunter said. I thought about that. We had happened upon each other twice before and we had hit it off. I hadn’t ever felt the same way with another man like I felt with Hunter. But this time was different. He sought me out and when we missed each other, I went looking for Hunter.
     
    Obviously, we had unfinished business together. But what about my concerns. How could an anti-war