Free Behind the Moon by Hsu-Ming Teo Page B

mother you are.’
    ‘And just what kind of mother am I?’ Linh cried in frustration.
    But Tien could not answer her, for she did not know herself. She only knew that Linh was to blame for all the things that were wrong in her life, from the distance between her and Gillian, to her unsuitability to be Justin’s girlfriend because she was two years older than him and she did not look sufficiently Asian.
    Tien realised that she was too dark-skinned. She took to wearing hats and long sleeves in summer, but it didn’t stop Annabelle from exclaiming, ‘ Wah ! How come you so dark one when your mummy so fair?’
    Tien shrugged, but Annabelle was not to be deterred. ‘Must be your daddy.’
    ‘Don’t know. Maybe.’
    ‘How come you don’t know anything about your daddy, Tien?’
    ‘He was like Bill Cosby.’
    ‘What! Bill Cosby was your daddy?’
    Annabelle could be an amazingly gullible woman. For a moment, Tien debated whether she should try to lay claim to Hollywood parentage. Then she sighed and said, ‘No, not really. But he might be sort of related, I suppose.’
    ‘ Wah , so good one lah ! Does he know about you?’
    ‘Yes.’ No. Tien simply didn’t know. She told herself she had to be nice to Annabelle otherwise she would not be allowed to hang around the house with Justin.
    ‘How come you never go and live with him?’
    ‘He’s an American. Visa problems, I suppose. You know how hard it is to get a green card and everything. One day it’ll be sorted out and then he’ll come and get me.’
    ‘Oh.’ Tien could see the pity and disbelief in Annabelle’s eyes and she was angry with Annabelle and everyone else like her who kept twisting her mongrel roots around her neck. Most of all, she was angry with Linh for having been a bar-girl who knew lots of American GIs— even black ones! An awkward adolescence made Tien unforgiving in her rigid morality.
    ‘Your mummy must have been very broad-minded, leh ?’
    ‘Broad-minded?’
    ‘You know. Your daddy was a black man, isn’t it?’
    ‘Only half. Blacks are the coolest people in America. They’re funny, they’ve got great fashion sense and they dominate Video Hits . I’m black and I’m proud. But what are you saying anyway? You think it’s not okay to have mixed-race relations?’
    ‘ Hi-yah . No need to be so sensitive. I’m only asking. I’m not racist, you know. Of course it’s okay to us, but some people mind, you know. I remember Jay-Jay’s third great-auntie warned him not to marry an Indian or a black woman or she cut him out of her will. She’s very rich, you know. From Jakarta. Of course we were very shocked, but what to do? She’s very traditional, leh . Anyway, Tek told her that Jay will marry a nice Chinese girl of course. No need to worry.’
    Tien anxiously scrutinised Annabelle’s face but could not tell whether that was a hint to her to stay away from Justin.

    By the time Tien had completed her School Certificate and gone on to Year 11, she had to admit to herself that she was in love with Justin. It took the Strathfield Plaza massacre for her to realise how much she cared about him. Love made her embarrassed and insecure; she didn’t want him or anyone else to know. After all, he was only sixteen—two years younger than her—and nothing like the fantasies of romantic heroes she’d dreamt about in her early adolescence.
    There was nothing particularly remarkable about him. He was simply Justin Cheong, B-grade pianist and athlete who played basketball and cricket for the B-team at school. He was nice enough in an ordinary sort of way. But to Tien, he was beautiful. She loved his long, lean body and the flat planes of his face. After the Strathfield shootings, he began to hang out with her more often. He never had very much to say to her, so she was able to read her dreams into his silence.
    Tien couldn’t get over her crush on Justin. She thought about him constantly and rang him as often as she dared. She tried to make