Free How To Break Up With An Alien by Magan Vernon

someday marry Ace.
    I shrugged. "The whole age thing, I guess."
    Simone nodded. Good, I didn't want to have to explain any more.
    "Alright, are you ready to try some of these on?" Mom came around the corner with another mound of multi-colored taffeta in her arms.
    "I guess it's now or never." I took the mound of dresses and headed to the dressing room with Simone and mom following close behind.
    Luckily I was able to find an open dressing room. There were about eight other girls filling the narrow space, stepping out of each room and staring and taking turns walking down to the three-way mirror. I opened the last door on the left and hung my dresses up on a rack that was already filled with someone else's castoffs that they didn't put back.
    "Come out when you get the first one on!" mom yelled.
    I peeled off my shirt and jeans and slid the first cheetah print dress off the hanger. I picked a horrible day to wear a hot pink bra and boy short panties. As I slid the dress down over my waist, the panties bunched up, creating a giant tubular set of wrinkles right along my middle. The pink bra didn't help my cause with two shiny straps poking out of the top of the dress. I couldn't get it zippered on my own and I was not sure that it would have zippered anyway, so I just settled for leaving it open.
    I stepped out of the room, careful not to step on the giant red train. "How do I look?"
    Simone covered up her mouth. "I think if we just added in those boat shoes you always wear, you could probably be hot mess Barbie."
    I tried to bend and shimmy, but I was afraid to rip the thing, so I just kind of bent and swayed. "So, this one is a no?"
    "A definite no," mom said and handed me another taffeta mess from the rack behind her.
    After going through at least a dozen other choices, I was ready to give up and just go in a pair of jeans.
    "Can you try one more on? My choice?" Simone asked, holding up a white dress.
    "White? Really? Isn't that reserved for brides and first communions?"
    Simone rolled her eyes and hung the dress on the back of the dressing room door. "Just try it."
    Reluctantly I closed the door and tried on the dress. When I stepped back out both my mom and Simone just stared at me?
    "That bad?"
    I looked down at the dress. It reminded me of Marilyn Monroe's signature dress with its sleeveless v top that fitted my curves and the circle skirt that flowed out my knees. It made me want to recreate the scene from Seven Year Itch where Marilyn stood above a manhole and steam sprayed her dress up.
    "It's beautiful, honey. You look amazing!" mom gushed.
    "It really does look good on you." Simone stared down at the dress, running her hands along the fabric of the skirt.
    "Do you think it is too old fashion?" I stared in the three-way mirror. The dress hugged me in all the right places and the white against my olive complexion actually made the dress look more cocktail party than wedding party.
    "I'd say vintage. I'm sure your boyfriend will appreciate vintage." Simone looked at my reflection in the mirror, but it was almost as if she wasn't really looking at me, but through me.
    I nodded. "You're right. I'll take it."

Chapter 16
     
    I couldn't even remember the last time I had someone spend the night at my mom's house. Well, I guess someone that they knew about spending the night. Ace didn't count. By the way my mom and stepdad Brian gushed over the whole situation; one would think I never had a friend over.
    "Look at that. On the job less than a month and you already have a new friend!" As Brian spoke bits of pizza sprayed out of his gigantic mouth.
    I had no idea what my mom saw in Brian. Not only was he unattractive with his shaved head and furry everything else, but he had the personality of a squirrel. Chatting, chatting, chat, chat, chatting about nothing.
    "Yep." I tried to ignore him and wished that I would have warned Simone about my family before we got back to the house.
    It seemed only natural to invite her over after