Free Mrs. Pargeter's Plot by Simon Brett Page B

Pargeter would not have dared to give the monkey away again, had Fossilface still been there. She had come to the conclusion that his mind worked in a very linear way, and could not deal with more than one idea at a time. While he was in the process of making his misguided ‘restitooshun’ to her, he couldn’t think about the ‘restitooshun’ he was planning for anyone else. If Fossilface discovered that Erasmus had been returned to Hedgeclipper Clinton, he was quite capable of trussing the hotel manager up all over again.
    But Mrs Pargeter couldn’t help finding the thug’s incompetence slightly endearing. ‘I think he’s doing it all for good motives,’ she said to Truffler in a conciliatory tone. ‘His heart’s in the right place.’
    â€˜That’s never been an acceptable excuse for anything,’ the detective growled. ‘Fossilface O’Donahue is trouble, whatever he does. And I think I’d rather have him making trouble from bad motives than honourable ones. When you’re dealing with a dyed-in-the-wool villain, you know what to expect. Whereas you have no idea what’ll be the next idiocy committed by a born-again Robin Hood.’
    â€˜Oh, come on, give him the benefit of the doubt.’
    â€˜A very unwise thing ever to give to Fossilface O’Donahue. There’s nothing more dangerous than the zeal of the convert. They’re all the same – alcoholics, divorcees, vegetarians, smokers, Catholics . . .’ He shuddered. ‘And villains who’ve seen the error of their ways are the worst of the lot.’ Suddenly anxious, Truffler asked, ‘Who else did you say he wanted to make “restitooshun” to?’
    â€˜He said there were lots, but certainly Gary, Concrete, Hedgeclipper, Keyhole Crabbe . . . and, er, you.’
    The detective snorted. ‘I’d better warn the others.’
    â€˜It may be all right, Truffler. And I really mean it when I say that Fossilface will be acting from the best of motives.’
    â€˜Doesn’t matter what his motives are, that guy’s a walking disaster area. And he has this nasty habit of disappearing off the face of the earth, so you can never know where the next attack’s coming from. No, we’ve all got to be on our guard, no question.’
    Mrs Pargeter sighed. She knew there was no shifting Truffler when he got an idea fixed in his mind. ‘Well, let’s try to forget about Fossilface for a moment, and think what we’re going to do about Concrete Jacket. It seems like it happened in another lifetime, but it was only this afternoon I went to visit him in prison . . . and got nothing out of him.’
    â€˜Hm.’
    â€˜Come on, Truffler, we’ve got to get this sorted.’
    â€˜If Concrete really won’t give us anything, I don’t see how we can.’
    Mrs Pargeter drummed her fingers on the table. ‘There’s got to be a way.’
    â€˜But if he won’t open up to
you,
I don’t see—’
    â€˜He doesn’t really know me that well. I mean, he likes me and respects me because of my husband, but I’m not, like, one of his really close buddies.’
    â€˜No. Did you mention the late Mr Pargeter when Concrete wouldn’t talk?’
    â€˜Oh yes, I was totally shameless. Played the full “What about your loyalty to my late husband?” card. Nothing. No, either Concrete’s protecting someone . . .’
    â€˜Or?’
    â€˜Or he’s just very scared.’ For a moment Mrs Pargeter was lost in thought. ‘You know I was talking about me not being one of his really close buddies?’
    â€˜Uhuh?’
    â€˜Has Concrete got any really close buddies? I mean, anyone who might stand a better chance of getting something out of him than I would?’
    â€˜Well . . . Guy he always used to be very matey with . . . was Keyhole