Free Out of Focus by Nancy Naigle

are you doing out here?” The dog pushed his nose under Von’s hand. “Where’s Kasey?”
    Dutch shook his head, his heavy ears flopping, and yawned.
    Von stooped next to the dog and scanned the barn. “Know where Kasey is?” Dutch was over ten years old now, his muzzle gray. He didn’t get around as quickly as he once had, but he was smarter than some men Von knew. Dutch seemed to point his nose up the ladder to the loft.
    “Kasey.” Von climbed the ladder to the loft. It was dark with the exception of a few slivers of light peeking through loose boards. Square bales filled the space. Alfalfa. He recognized the smell.
    He swished his hand overhead, grabbed for the string to the bulb that he knew was there and tugged. In the dull yellow glow, he noticed a dark lump on top of a stack of hay bales.
    He raced to the end of the barn.
    As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he thought his heart might break.
    There was Kasey, lying across the hay bales, dressed in Nick’s coveralls, which seemed to swallow her.
    Her dirty bare feet hung from the pant legs. She had tissues wadded in one hand and Nick’s old farm hat held to her chest with the other. In the crook of her arm, she held Jake’s stuffed horse. Nick’s first gift to his son, bought on the day the child was born and named after him. Their first day as a family. Jake had dragged that horse around until the time he could walk, then he’d gotten Bubba Bear and that ratty horse was put out to pasture in the toy box.
    Von climbed the sturdy stacked squares.
    “Kasey.”
    She didn’t stir.
    “Hey, kiddo, are you okay?” He wondered how long she’d been up here.
    Fear sparked through him. In the extra-large coveralls, he couldn’t see if she was breathing. He reached out and rested his hand on her side.
    “Kasey, can you hear me?” He nudged her shoulder.
    She took in a breath. Thank goodness . Relieved, he scooted closer.
    “It’s me, Von.”
    Her eyelids fluttered.
    He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “Hey. Talk to me.”
    She opened her eyes and let out a soft sigh.
    He stretched out next to her so they were eye to eye, resting his head on his bent forearm. “You okay?”
    “What do you think?” She spoke in a broken whisper.
    “I think you’re hurting.”
    She nodded. “You must think I’m cracking up, wearing his clothes.” She lifted her coverall-cloaked arm. Her hand didn’t even peek out the end of the sleeve.
    Von pushed her bangs away from her damp cheeks. He shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t judge. I’ve been right where you are. We all mourn and heal in our own ways.”
    “I’ll never heal.”
    He stroked her back. “I know it feels that way.”
    She sniffed and shifted her arm up under her head, wiping her tears on the big sleeve of the coveralls.
    “I’m not going to tell you that things will be all right. That was the last thing I wanted to hear when I lost Deidre.”
    Kasey nodded.
    “You just have to take things a day at a time. The truth is, you’ll never be the same. But that’s okay, too.”
    Kasey looked away. “There was another shooting on Route 58 last night. Did you know?”
    “I heard. I’m checking it out,” he said.
    “It’s like the third or fourth time. Sprays of bullets, no injuries,” Kasey said. “What are the odds that, with all those incidents, Nick would be the one to get killed?”
    He didn’t tell her that Nick’s shooting didn’t fit the random pattern, or type of gun. A shotgun was used in the other shootings. The casings found by Nick’s truck near the accident site were from a small caliber bullet. The police had confirmed that earlier, but that information wasn’t something Kasey needed to hear right now.
    Von shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes there aren’t any good answers.”
    “It’s not fair.”
    “I know.”
    “Nick was a good man. He didn’t deserve to die. I can’t live without him.” Kasey sniffled. She buried her face in her hands, then lifted her