Free Mood Indigo by Boris Vian

dressed, honey,’ said Alyssum, ‘or you’ll miss everything.’
    â€˜Kiss me,’ said Chloe. ‘I’m so happy!’
    Alyssum pushed her out of the bathroom and Chloe sat on the bed. She smiled to herself when she looked at the lace of her dress. First of all she put on a baby cellophane bra, and then a pair of white gingham pants. They brought out the beauty of her firm outlines to its fullest extent.

20
    â€˜All right?’ said Colin.
    â€˜Not yet,’ said Chick.
    For the fourteenth time Chick was trying to tie Colin’s tie and he just couldn’t manage it.
    â€˜Try doing it with gloves on,’ said Colin.
    â€˜Why?’ asked Chick. ‘Do you think it will work any better?’
    â€˜I don’t know,’ said Colin. ‘It was just an idea.’
    â€˜A good job we gave ourselves plenty of time!’ said Chick.
    â€˜Yes,’ said Colin. ‘But we’ll still be late if we don’t get this right.’
    â€˜Don’t worry,’ said Chick. ‘We’ll manage it soon.’
    He performed a swift series of closely linked movements and sharply pulled both ends at the same time. The tie snapped in the middle and he was left holding half of it in each hand.
    â€˜That’s number three!’ remarked Colin. But his mind was elsewhere.
    â€˜All right,’ said Chick, ‘I know it is … Be patient!’
    He sat down on a chair and thoughtfully rubbed his chin.
    â€˜I can’t think what we’re doing wrong,’ he said.
    â€˜Neither can I,’ said Colin. ‘It’s never happened before.’
    â€˜No,’ said Chick, flatly. ‘Let’s try it without looking.’
    He took a fourth tie and carelessly wound it round Colin’s neck, while he let his eyes follow every detail of the flight of a flutterwing. He put the thick end over the thin one, brought it back through the loop, then with a twist to the right, a quick slip underneath, and … But unfortunately, at that very moment, his eyes fell on his work and both ends of the tie brutally snapped together, squashing his index finger. He yelped with pain.
    â€˜Oh, sod the existential horror!’ he said.
    â€˜Did you hurt yourself?’ asked Colin, full of sympathy. Chick was sucking his finger furiously.
    â€˜Now I’ll have a black man’s pinch,’ he said.
    â€˜Poor old thing!’ said Colin.
    Chick muttered something and looked at Colin’s neck.
    â€˜Just a minute! …’ he whispered. ‘It’s tied itself. Don’t move …’
    He stepped back quietly, without lifting his eyes from the tie, and picked up a bottle of aerosol fixative from the table behind him. Slowly he steadied the extremity of the tiny tube as he took aim and stealthily closed in on the tie. Colin hummed quietly, pretending to be looking at the ceiling.
    The fine spray landed bang on the heart of the knot. The tie sprang into the air, turned a rapid double somersault, and then fell rigidly into position, crucified by the solidifying spirit.

21
    Colin left the house, followed by Chick. They were going to walk round to fetch Chloe. Nicholas was going straight to the church to join them there. He was putting the last touches to a special meal he was cooking that he had discovered in ffroydde and which ought to turn out terrifically.
    There was a bookshop on the way and Chick stopped to look in the window. In the very centre of the display a copy of Heartre’s
Mildew
, bound in purple morocco embossed with a clock standing at five o’clock to represent the arms of the Marchioness de Mauvoir, sparkled like a precious jewel.
    â€˜Oh!’ said Chick. ‘Just look at that! …’
    â€˜What?’ said Colin, coming back. ‘Oh! You mean that? …’
    â€˜Yes,’ said Chick.
    Just to look at the book made his mouth water. A narrow stream of saliva began to form on the pavement between his legs