He keeps moving away from me until he’s at the opposite corner, but the closet is so small that still only leaves a few feet between us.
“Are you okay?” I ask. He says nothing and doesn’t look up, almost like he’s ashamed. “Adam?”
“I shouldn’t have done that.” He winces as I take a step closer.
When Sun first came to live with us, she did that when anyone touched her. She would jump if she didn’t expect physical contact and sometimes squirm away if she did. My parent’s adoption agent said that the orphanage was overcrowded and she wasn’t used to affection because she hadn’t received much of it since she was abandoned as a baby. It took months for her stop tensing up. Mother gave up long before then, but I didn’t.
Adam’s been in a place like that for years.
“How long has it been since anyone’s hugged you, Adam?”
His nose wrinkles in disgust as he glares up at me. But then his expression twists into something more vulnerable as his jaw tenses and he answers, “I can’t remember. Probably from Molly when I left, but I don’t remember it.”
I take a few steps toward him slowly, like I’m approaching a wild animal. He turns his face slightly and squeezes his eyes shut when I move to touch him, almost like he’s flinching in slow motion. My fingers land on the hot skin of his cheek and he lets out a ragged breath before gripping my wrist tightly, but not pulling it away.
Our eyes finally meet again and he lurches forward, capturing my mouth with his again. My stomach flutters as his tongue slides over mine with a groan. His body shudders against mine as we pull each other closer, his arms guiding me to spin around until I’m hidden within stacks of books and the unyielding brick wall. And him.
I’ve read quite a bit about first kisses, and none of them ever seemed like this. He only stops for a moment to catch his breath to look at me. His eyes ask for permission to keep going and mine must grant it because his lips return to mine again and again. Every time I touch him his body reacts differently. Sometimes his muscles tense and he grunts into our kiss, then I’ll feel them shivering beneath my fingertips as he lets out a pitiful groan. Some touches make him start to pull away and I have to hold on tighter, while the same caress a moment later will inspire him to wrap his arms around me until I can hardly breathe.
The five minute bell rings, startling us. We must have been making out for at least a half an hour. It didn’t feel like that long. I check my watch as Adam stares down at the floor, looking almost as awkward and confused as I’m feeling.
We both look at the door at the sound and vibration of footsteps outside. A minute of silence ticks by and all I can think about is the electricity lingering on my lips and all the things I want to say, but can’t. Eventually the honor student in me becomes worried about being late for class.
I move to leave this unexpected rendezvous behind me and turn the doorknob when Adam crashes into me from behind, his forearm across my chest and shoulders and his lips against my ear.
“I need to see you again,” he mutters, kissing my temple.
“I want to see you again, too,” I murmur as my stomach flips and flops and my head starts to spin.
“Not want. Need.” He bites my earlobe and my heart leaps into my throat. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
There’s something hard pressing into my rear. It takes me a moment to register what it is. “I think about you all the time,” I admit.
“I’m sorry for the cold shoulder, Sabrina,” he whispers. “But I can’t… we really shouldn’t…”
“I get it.”
I’ve never asked, but I doubt boyfriends are approved for me either, let alone unsupervised closet make-out sessions. Even if they are, the last thing I want is questions about where I’m going and what I’m doing. This ignored adoptee thing is finally getting convenient. And how would I explain Adam to my