been, if sheâd only known, if heâd bothered to say something soonerâ¦
âAll this timeâ¦â She shook her head. âYou know, Atlantaâs only two hours away. And weâve always had a phone, even way out here in the boonies. We get regular mail deliveries, tooââ
âI get the point,â he said with a sad smile. âBut I figured you probably hated my guts. Andâ¦â He sighed, looking up for a moment. âI still thought Iâd done the right thing, for a long time. By the time I realized I hadnât, I figured it was too lateââ
âYes, it is,â she said, grasping at anything that would stop this, right now. She knew he was genuinely sorry, knew he meant every word heâd said. But she didnât dare let his contrition get to her. She was only safe as long as he was still the bad guy.
âIt is too late, Dean. So you know what I think? I think, if that cozy scene in the kitchen a few hours ago is any indication, what you want is another roll in the pine needles. Youâve got a first-class case of the hots, is all thatâs going on here.â She planted both palms on his chest and pushed away from him. âIn your dreams, buddy boy. Go on back to Atlanta and find yourself some big-city sweetie to scratch your itch. This hick ainât puttinâ out, you hear?â
She picked up her bag from where sheâd dropped it on the lawn earlier and hoofed it toward the house.
âDammit, Sarah!â he roared, probably waking up everyone within a five-mile radius. âYou havenât heard a single word Iâve said!â
âGo home, Dean,â she called over her shoulder, praying Katey, at least, was sleeping through this. âNothingâs changed.â
â Iâve changed, Sarah,â she heard behind her. âHeyâ I can even read without moving my lips now, did you know that?â
His words slashed through her. But she didnât stop.
âWeâre going to be family, Sarah Louise,â he said, more softly but no less importunately. âFor Jenâs and Lanceâs sake, at least, we need to get past this.â
Sheâd gotten as far as the porch steps; now she turned, one hand gripping the newel post, and saw heâd followed her across the yard. He stood with his hands clenched at his sides, solid and determined and dangerous. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, and she thought once again how impossible, how easy it would be to let herself succumb to his entreaties.
And how wrong sheâd been. Everything had changed between them. More than he even knew.
Dean stepped closer, his mouth drawn. âLook, I told youâ I donât expect things to get back the way they were between us, especially not after all this time. All Iâm asking is for you to see me as I am now. â
She waited until the first, then the second, wave of pain passed, before she said, quietly, âIâm not sure I can do that.â
The man she once loved with everything she had in her glared at her for several seconds, then turned and strode off into the darkness.
Chapter 4
âI diot!â
Dean kicked the mailbox post at the end of the Whitehousesâ driveway, then slammed his palm against the sturdy metal box. âStupid, stupid, stupidâ¦â He repeated the word like a bizarre mantra for several seconds, then rasped his smarting hand across a stubbled cheek.
Gee, Parrish. You handled that real well.
Sheâd said she didnât want to talk. He could have waited until morning, maybe found some time when she was at least a little more receptive. But no-o-oâhe had to blurt out some sorry-assed confession that made him sound even more callous than heâd been originally.
Dean was beginning to wonder if making stupid moves was part of his genetic makeup, or his destiny, or karma, or whatever the term was these days for repeating your mistakes.
He