Free The Grace In Darkness by Melissa Andrea Page A

long they ’ ve been gone. You can still feel them. That ’ s how I feel about my mother ’ s love. I can ’ t see it, but I feel it and that ’ s how I know she ’ s always with me and that ’ s how I ’ ve survived all these years without becoming jaded. And yes, Dr. Rise, she loves me very much. ”
    “ Do you think she can feel your love? ”
    “ I hope with all my heart she can because there is not a day that goes by that I don ’ t make sure she can feel it. ”
    “ I ’ m sure she can, Araya. ”
    “ Does that mean you believe in it? ”
    “ I think it sounds like a lovely idea and if I had to believe in anything, it would definitely be that love was strong enough to endure even after death. ”
    “ Have you lost anyone you ’ ve loved so much it hurts, Dr. Rise? ”
    “ I have, my father. He was a great man and I miss him dearly. ”
    “ I ’ m sorry you lost your father. ”
    “ I ’ m sorry you lost your mother, Araya. ”
    “ Look forward with hope, not backward with regret, right? ”
    “ Sounds like a solid plan to follow. ”
    “ I don ’ t know how solid it is, but it ’ s all I have of her to hold on to. ”
    “ And what about the new people in your life? ”
    “ Makayla? ”
    “ And Pierce. ”
    I was hoping Pierce wouldn ’ t be in any of our discussions today, but it looked like it was unavoidable at this point.
    “ It ’ s nice having friends again. I miss Cara. ”
    “ Even after what she did to you? ”
    “ Their father is an… evil person. I don ’ t know why Cara did what she did, and until I do, I ’ ll continue to miss her. ”
    “ And when you do find out the full story, do you think you can forgive her? ”
    I thought about it. “ Yes. ” It was that simple.
    “ And Ryland? ”
    We went from one topic I didn ’ t want to discuss to another.
    “ What about Ryland? ”
    “ Well, we ’ ve talked about him before and you seem to think it ’ s over between the two of you. Have you had any contact with him since? ”
    I shook my head. “ No. ”
    “ Do you think you ’ re ready to move on from him? ”
    And that was the million-dollar question. Could I move on from Ryland? Now or ever?
    “ Is there a time limit on your first love? Is that something you ever get over? ”
    “ Maybe not fully, but at some point, you should probably think of future relationships. ”
    “ Like with Pierce. ”
    “ He ’ d be a good start. ”
    I didn ’ t know if that was even a possibility anymore after last night.
    Pierce hadn ’ t been a possibility until right now. Dr. Rise was right. Since I started here, I ’ d had it in my head that Ryland and I were over. Not because I wanted to be, but because I ’ d told him not to wait for me. And what if he hadn ’ t? I hadn ’ t heard from him in months, and not that I should, but a part of me had hoped.
    I had no one to be upset with but myself, and I wasn ’ t allowed to expect anything from Ryland. No matter what, though, I wanted him to be happy.
    “ You seem lost in thought, ” Dr. Rise said, pulling me into the present.
    I didn ’ t plan on telling her about my conversation with Pierce for the simple fact that I didn ’ t want to talk about Ryland or Pierce anymore.
    “ I was just thinking about new starts. And right now, I just want to focus on my dancing. ”
    “ I heard you and Pierce have been doing very well and you ’ re working hard for your duet coming up. ”
    She wasn ’ t even subtle, but I was done talking about boys. “ I ’ m excited about it and so is Violet. She ’ s been working just as hard as the rest of us. ”
    “ That ’ s good. I can ’ t wait to see your performance. ”
    “ You ’ ll be there? ”
    “ Of course. I go every year. ”
    The bell rang above my head, announcing the end of our session, and I moved to get up.
    “ I hope you enjoy the concert. ”
    “ I ’ m sure I will. Maybe next session you can finish telling me about your mom. ”
    I just smiled at her. I