Free The Grace In Darkness by Melissa Andrea

through our system like a roller coaster and neither one of us could grasp our breath long enough to finish a coherent sentence.
    “ Did you see me?” I said, grabbing at my hair like a wild woman. I turned in my seat toward her and the words coming out of my mouth erupted at an abnormal speed. “I was out of this world!” My fingers exploded through my hair, sending the strands in every direction.
    Her eyes danced between the road and me. “Are you kidding me? You were out of this universe! Bigger than every star and every planet, my little twinkle toes.”
    “ Mom!” I groaned, embarrassed, and pushed at her arm a little too roughly. The car swerved slightly. “Oops, sorry!” I giggled and picked up my root beer.
    She was laughing as she leaned over to take a sip from the straw I offered. The whole time her eyes never strayed from the road.
    “I think we’ve had enough sugar,” she declared, but I was already shoving another whole chocolate chip cookie in my mouth.
    “ You want this to go to waste?”
    I held my arms wide, hovering above the junk food in question. After making our rounds of good-byes after the audition, we hit the nearest gas station to stock up on all forms of sugar. The clerk looked at us like we were nuts as we dropped armfuls of food in front of him.
    It took him ten minutes to check us out and the entire time we sat there trying not to laugh. Mom filled up on gas and we settled in the car for our two-hour drive home. It was only ten and Mom was convinced we’d be home by midnight. She couldn’t spend another night in a hotel bed she’d said.
    “ You’re right.” She nodded. “Pass me one of those pink spongy cakes.” I tore open the wrapper with my teeth and handed it over. “I can’t wait to start bragging to all my friends.” She squealed (my mother wasn’t a squealer) around a mouthful of cake.
    “ Shouldn’t you wait to hear if I got in first? What if they didn’t like me?”
    I pulled loose what was left of my bun. It fell down my back in long, stiff waves, and my scalp felt bruised from the weight of it. Massaging my scalp, I listened to my mom dismiss the idea.
    “I love you, but you’re nuts, chick! Of course they fudging loved you! You were beyond amazing. You are beyond amazing. I have and will always be proud of you, but tonight I’m proud on a whole new level for you going after your dream, baby girl.” She pulled my head toward her and kissed the top. I snuggled into her warmth and wiped at the tears that had fallen on her sweater.
    “ I love you so much, Mom. Thank you for always believing in me. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect mother.”
    “ I’m far from perfect, Araya, but I will always be your biggest fan.”
     
    I stopped talking. The emotion clogging my throat made it impossible to finish the next part of my memory. In ways, it was harder to think about what happened before the accident than it was to remember what happened after.
    “ At least we were happy right before, right? ” I whispered. “ I mean, we hardly ever fought and if we did, we both missed each other too much to stay mad long. At least she died knowing how much I love her, right? ”
    “ It sounds like she loved you very much, Araya. ”
    I thought about the word loved . “ Do you believe in love after life, Dr. Rise? ”
    Dr. Rise was the famous Madison shrink. She had a heavy work schedule on her plate, as she was the only psychiatrist on campus. I wasn ’ t sure of the exact student body headcount, but I knew it was pretty close to eight hundred.
    She had no idea what she was getting into when she was handed my file. As far as I knew, no one had known about my aunt and Cara, not even Dr. Rise at first. How it got around I didn ’ t know, and honestly, it didn ’ t matter.
    “ Explain it to me and I ’ ll tell you if I do. ”
    “ It ’ s when a person loves you so much you can still feel their love even after they ’ re gone. And it doesn ’ t matter how