Free Rachel's Garden by Marta Perry

with him.
    “The floor is just the beginning. I still have to put up the walls and all the glass. And maybe build some tables for your mamm to put her plants on. It will take me a few days to finish it.”
    “I could help you. I helped Daadi a lot.” Joseph’s eyes clouded a little, as if the memory grieved him.
    Gideon hesitated, not because he wouldn’t be happy to have Joseph around, no matter how little help he was, but because he wasn’t sure how Rachel would feel about that.
    “You’d best go and ask your Mammi first. She might have some other chores for you to do.”
    Joseph considered that for a moment. Then he nodded and scampered off toward the kitchen door.
    Maybe Rachel would have no objection. She had seemed welcoming enough when he’d turned up today. She’d even brought him out coffee and offered to make lunch for him. But that might be nothing more than a temporary truce.
    He didn’t know whether to apologize for what he’d said about her attitude toward his friendship with Ezra or let it be. Not that he’d changed his mind. But just because something was true didn’t mean a person had to say it.
    In a way, he could understand why she’d felt as she did. Young married couples usually had best friends who were in the same situation. If Naomi had lived, they’d have been friends as couples, sharing each other’s lives as the children came along.
    But Naomi hadn’t lived. The baby hadn’t. Even after all these years, letting himself think of that was looking into a bottomless pit.
    Ezra had talked to him, just once, about remarrying. “Naomi wouldn’t expect you to live your life alone, Gid.” Ezra’s normally merry face had been solemn as he leaned against the wagon they’d been fixing. “Everyone thinks it’s time you were looking around for a wife.”
    He expected it from everyone else. Not from Ezra. He thought Ezra understood. The wrench he held clanged against the wheel rim.
    “I can’t.” His voice rasped, and he forced the words past suddenly numb lips. “I let Naomi and the babe die.” He saw the argument forming on Ezra’s face. He didn’t want to hear it. “Don’t, Ezra. No matter what anyone thinks, I’ll not be marrying again. I won’t take responsibility for another life. I can’t.”
    The back door banged, forcing him back to the present. Joseph raced across the lawn, his face alight with eagerness. “Mammi says yes, but I shouldn’t be a nuisance, and I have to give water to my goat first, and keep her penned up so she doesn’t get in the way.”
    It sounded as if he quoted Rachel. “Fine, do that.”
    The boy spun toward the barn, then paused, darting a measuring look toward Gideon. “Do you want to see my goat?”
    Something in Joseph’s expression said that this was a rare treat, so he got up from his knees. “I’d like that.”
    He followed the boy across the backyard toward the barn. The light breeze ruffled the boy’s hair as he raced ahead.
    Joseph ran the last few steps to a pen attached to the barn. A small Nubian nanny stood at the door, bawling for the boy as if he were her kid. Joseph opened the pen door and slipped inside, fending off the goat’s attempt to get out.
    “You must stay in now. Later I’ll take you for a walk.”
    The little Nubian wore a collar, as if she were a dog instead of a goat. Her coat was glossy from much brushing. She was a beloved pet, obviously.
    Joseph kept his arm around her neck and smiled proudly. “This is Dolly. She’s beautiful, ain’t so?”
    “Ja, she is.” Ezra’s son might look like him, but he had Rachel’s smile. Not that he’d seen much smiling from her lately, but he remembered the look.
    “She’s going to have a kid. Maybe two. Onkel William says that it might be twins. I’d like it if she had twins. Don’t you think that would be nice?”
    Gideon nodded. If his boppli had lived, he’d be a bit older than Joseph. They would have been friends. His heart twisted in his chest.
    Joseph