Free DeBeers 05 Hidden Leaves by V. C. Andrews Page B

so-called criminal or immoral act. Up until the time he or she commits it, their
consciences torment them. They struggle and da battle with good and evil forces within themselves and in that they suffer. When they finally act, they end the discussion. It's over. They've committed themselves and there is, according to my colleague, great relief. Be calls it Cain's Confession syndrome. It's equivalent to shouting at his conscience. 'I did it! Stop haunting me!"
    Oh. did I do it, Willow. I began a secret relationship that would make me deceitful and conniving, a liar in my own house and dishonest with my closest friend. for I could not in the beginning trust anyone with the truth, not even Ralston. I had just come to the point where I was able to trust myself with it.
"I could hurt you," Grace told me that night. Of course she was referring to her curse.
    I laughed and told her. "Not any more than I could hurt myself or more to the point, hurt you. Grace."
    She trembled in my arms. and I held her and kissed her again and then gently led her to her bed, where she lay back on the pillow and looked up at me with that wonderful soft smile that melted any resistance in my heart. I knelt at her side and stroked her hair.
    "This is so wrong of me," I told her. "I am a man of logic, but I cannot explain, much less justify, my actions. All I know is you rarely leave my thoughts. I see you everywhere. Grace. I hear your voice in every quiet moment, and even when others are speaking to me, my ears shut down and your voice is the one I hear. I, of all people, know what obsessions are. This is not simply some obsession. Grace, something that might be mitigated or cured. It's more. I feel certain of that. For the first time. I think I understand the power of love, for I am in love, and Grace, no one can cure me of that or lessen it because I want it with all my soul."
    "Except for my father, no man has ever told me he loves me, not like that." she said. "My stepfather Winston was very, very fond of me, but it was truly a father-daughter affection. Until now I never knew love like the love I feel for you." She laughed. "I was going to say Doctor. What should I call you?"
    "Call me Claude, of course." I said. smiling. I couldn't stop petting her and bringing my lips to her cheeks, her eyes, her lips.
    "I won't call you that unless we're alone," she said.
This complicates everything, Grace. I promise you that if I come to believe it will hurt you. I will not be your therapist any longer. Promise me you will understand. Please," I begged her.
She promised, but it was one of those promises both people knew was impossible to keep. They make it just to get temporary peace.
I remained beside her, speaking softly to her, kissing her but doing no more. Finally I told her good night,
"Now I know I can sleep," I said. "I'm not keeping it all bottled up inside me. I have followed the advice I give to my patients."
She said nothing. I was afraid I had
overwhelmed her. After I slipped out of her room. I started quickly down the corridor. Nadine Gordon stepped out of Sandy's room just as I had passed it and called to me. When I turned, she approached, her forehead creased as she brought her eyebrows together with her puzzled look.
"I looked everywhere for you, Dr. De Beers. Is everything all right?"
"Yes. Ms. Gordon. Everything is all right. How is Sandy?"
"She's sleeping better, but that is about all the improvement I've noticed." she replied curtly. "I think she might require more of your time. Doctor. Perhaps it was not so wise to reassign her to Dr. Price."
"I think he and I will be the best judges of that. Nadine," I said. Whenever she did get to me, annoy me, or displease me in any way. I referred to her by her first name. It was something I know wasn't lost on her.
"Of course. I'm just giving you my most professional opinion, but only to assist you. Doctor, and certainly not to be critical." she added.
I could never tell if Nadine Gordon liked me or