surprised to find that trapped in the small, dark space I
feel more free than I have in weeks. I am completely alone with nowhere else to
be and nothing important to do. For a moment I allow my mind the chance to
wander and I imagine staying, then I think of Sasha and snap back to reality.
It would be irresponsible of me to choose homelessness for myself and a dog too
- especially when we have the option of staying with someone as kind as Levi.
But now that I hurt Ephraim, even that is up in the air. I can’t imagine how I
would live with myself if I hurt Levi too. But there is a possibility that this
is just what I am now I find myself walking in circles in the cave, the rain
has started to really let down so I begin clearing a spot on the earth to sit
down and rest. I begin to carefully kneel down into a sitting position but with
the extra soreness in my legs from my workout I quickly begin to fall forward
and that’s when it happens.
I make
contact with the wall of the cave and I feel a warmth rushing through me
rapidly. It takes over me and everything around me is illuminated. They cave is
no longer grey, I see a hint of green from patches of grass and the rain
pouring in outside, I look down at my body and see patches of red that focus in
close to my skin – I never imagined my aura could be red. I always pictured it
would be black or brown or even grey, but somehow the red suits me. I turn around
to face the back of the cave and I what I see renders me speechless, I start to
scream, but no sound comes out. I begin to gather my senses and realize I must
be seeing things. People talk about having visions of angels all the time, so
that must be what I am experiencing now.
Ahead
of me, where there used to be a solid rock foundation, there is now a group of
Nephilim. Some of them are blankly facing me, some are staring ahead and some
are murmuring to themselves. One is hunched over brushing the hair of a woman
that is speaking to herself. The words are unintelligible and I realize she
must be speaking some old language. I begin to step forward to see if I can
decipher anything she is saying, when I step forward I anticipate for the cave
to go dark, logic tells me that walls don’t move and there was just a cave in
front of me. But it doesn’t grow dimmer and no one in front of me disappears.
When I get about 10 feet away from where the hunched over man is standing I hit
an invisible barrier that makes my hands feel as though they are straining to
reach through a net. When I look back up where the man stood, brushing the
womans hair, I am startled to find he is slowly walking towards me. I don’t
know what to say so I begin to draw my hand back and apologize “I – I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to disturb anyone, it’s just that it was raining and I needed a
place to say. I didn’t see you back here until just now…” He looks at me and
for a moment I wonder if he can even understand a word I am saying, his eyebrow
furrows and he looks away for a moment “It’s not possible, this can’t be real.
It’s finally happening, I’m finally losing my mind.” His furrowed eyebrow
remains but he begins laughing hysterically. I want to turn and run away but I
can’t leave without knowing what’s happening “What do you mean you are losing
your mind? Can I, uhmm, help?”
I
reach again but the barrier stops me from touching his shoulder. He stops
laughing and turns to give me a confused look “Can you help? This has to be a
joke! Why would I accept help from someone who is obviously allied with the
filthy traitors that abandoned us here!” my head begins to spin at his insult.
I start to wonder if this is what it feels like to go insane I turn my head and
contemplate running but I am too mad at his accusations to even allow myself to
walk away – I have always had to have the last word, and this time is no
exception. “Excuse me?! But who said anything about filthy traitors? I just
offered to help you, but I