Free Being Amber by Sylvia Ryan Page B

this masterpiece of a man.
    Every morning, when he rose to go to the bathroom and get dressed, Jaci lingered in the bed, feeling a physical ache, a substantial loss, as if a part of her was gone too.
    After a few days of this, it occurred to her that she wasn’t going to be good at the touching not equaling sex concept because in her heart and mind, Xander’s touch was pure sex. No matter how many times she’d tried to convince herself it wasn’t. Her body reacted to him as if he were her lover. By the time he left the bed every morning, she was fully primed for him, her breathing deep and ragged and her skin screaming for more of his touch. In this time she relished most, she imagined them together in beautiful love scenes. They were everything to each other–lovers and friends, protector and protected, savior and saved. Daily, she tried to will it to happen, to telepath her fantasy scene into his brain. It didn’t work.
    Xander gave no indication he had even one sexual impulse toward her and no matter how much she wished his sexual desire for her to be there, it wasn’t. Even when he held her in his arms and she pressed up close to his body, the sexual component on his part was noticeably absent.
    Jaci’s recovery progressed quickly. She spent the next few days adjusting. A lot of that time she spent with Jordan.
    “It’s time you got your lazy ass out of bed,” Jordan announced one morning, walking over to Jaci’s dresser and rummaging through it for clothes. “I’m getting you out of the apartment to tour the building.” She turned to face Jaci. “Jeez, when are you going to get your clothes?”
    Jaci shrugged. “I still haven’t called my mom yet.”
    Jordan didn’t reply. She didn’t have to. Disapproval was blatant on her face.
    “Come on.” She threw some clothes at Jaci. “Get dressed.”
    They walked the building together. Jordan showed her the locations of the recycle shoots, laundry, solar cart station and social center, which basically was a big room on the ground floor used for everything from dances to memorials.
    Jaci looked into the open doorways as she passed them in the hall and did a double take several times. She saw glimpses of people fucking, many times with others watching.
    Jordan glanced over to Jaci and picked up on her expression.
    “What?” Jordan asked.
    “This is the norm?” Jaci pointed to another group sexathon, complete with gawkers, as they passed.
    Jordan shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much. Not common in Sapphire?” she asked, grinning.
    “No, you know it isn’t.” Jaci’s mind chewed on this new information for a few moments. “You said this touching thing isn’t sexual.”
    “We did, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have sex. One thing leads to another. Like back there,” she said, motioning with her hand, “Probably started with some people hanging out watching a movie. Maybe a couple started kissing. The next thing you know, you’re walking past their open door with your mouth gaping open.” Jordan laughed. “You’ll get used to it.
    “We don’t ignore our biological need to have sex. It’s emotionally unhealthy. Everybody here has sex when they want to, whether they have a boyfriend or not. And, FYI, if the door’s open, you’re welcome to join in. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with that, but at least you know.”
    Jaci’s stomach performed a perfect flip inside her torso. She wondered what it was like to be so comfortable inside one’s own skin that joining in like that was as casual as going to a party. How would it feel to physically give and take without reservation, no self-consciousness, no fear of rejection, no judgment.
    God, she bet it was good.
    “Can I ask you a question?” Jordan murmured under her breath. “Just between us. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
    “Sure.”
    “I’ve heard that guys from the other zones are not that good in bed. I mean, you know, they’re kind of clueless when it