Free Caltraps of Time by David I. Masson Page A

they buy and sell at such a rate, and keep them selves so mighty well supply’d with all manner of Engines, and Stuffs, the different Houses, that supply ‘em, are in great rivalry one with another. From this comes a great Shew that they make every where, with Words and Pictures, with bright Colours, like those of some Painter at Court, but in thousands of Copys for all to see, in their Journals and on huge Placards, that stand by the Roads, especially in the Towns. This they call meerly, Advertisement, as who shou’d call a Shout, a Murmur.
     
    This brings me to their Words. Tho’ they have many Words, that I never heard or saw before, I was quite as much in a quandary at learning their Tongue, by reason of Words that I knew well, but that they us’d otherwise then with us. Many, as I found in the end, had sunk (where Advertisement had flown up). So when they say, Terrible, they mean Great; when they say, Fabulous, they mean Goodly. Enthusiasm, is a meer Zeal, or pleasure in doing. But other Words, are much twisted in their Sence. Sex, which with us is the being Male, or Female, with them is the Coupling of Man and Woman. Romance is no Fantasticall Tale, but an Affair of the Heart; and so too with Romantick. A Buss, which with us (in that meaning) is a kind of Sea-vessel, with them is a Publick Carriage, as I have said. To Want, is not to lack, but to have a wish for some thing. One who is Nice, do’s not turn his Nose up, he is not Delicat, but meerly pleasing to the speaker. One who is Sensible, is not keenly perceiving of some thing, but a Man of good sence. They interlace their sentences with absolute Cant, that with us is heard from Cut-purses and Ruffians, but with them is perfectly gentle. On the other hand, they abound in long learned expressions, that their very Children use, and wrap their Notions up in Bundles, as to confound the listener. As for their manner of Uttering, ‘tis altogether odd, as I have shewn it, but not without a smack of the low speech of a Cockney from London. After a time my Ears grew accustom’d to it, so that I heard, what was meant.
     
    The Nation that dwells in America, and they that dwell in Moscovy, they say are the Arbiters of the World, for they have that Artillery, that I wrote of before, in the greatest quantity. Besides this, from these two Nations, come the Inventions, of Machines that they have fired off toward the Moon, and the Planets Mars, and Venus, as if they had been Cannon Shot; which send back News of their Journeys, and (in some manner) Pictures, of what they meet; and so methinks, it is to take nigh on three hundred years, and an Enterprize from abroad, not from England, to fulfill these Flattring Verses of Mr Dryden,
     
    Then we upon our Globes last verge shall go
    And view the Ocean leaning on the Sky:
    From thence our rowling Neighbours we shall know,
    And on the Lunar world securely pry.
     
    And besides, these two Nations, have sent Machines round the Earth, some hundreds of leagues above it, with Men in ‘em, and at last fetch’d ‘em down in their Machines safe and sound. And yet was my Machine unknown.
     
    As for Moscow, they look upon it in their England, much as we look upon Rome; and as we look upon Papists, and Dissenters, so do they a kind of Levellers, that they call, Communists, that wou’d overthrow the State, if they cou’d, and yet are suffer’d to come and go every where without let or hindrance, save only that they may not get employment, where they can learn Secrets of State. For the meer Papists and Dissenters among them, they make no distinction against ‘em, and hardly know, what Religion a Man professes, or what they profess them selves.
     
    They have in the Land another sort of Stranger. For they have many Indians, both from West and East, who are come to make their livelihood in England. Their Neighbours are afear’d, the great numbers of these shou’d take their Wages from ‘em, or bring new Plagues, or that their way of