Free Class Six and the Nits of Doom by Sally Prue

farts cause global warming.
    And then there was a huge crash, and everything stopped.

Anil stood blinking across the classroom. The music had stopped and so had everyone’s need to dance. Winsome was standing frozen with her hands in the air, and Emily was
wobbling back down onto the soles of her feet.
    Anil looked round some more. Slacker’s huge body was on the carpet. He was panting as if he’d run a—well, actually, given that it was Slacker, he was panting as if he’d
just
run
.
    But Slacker didn’t seem to be the source of the crash. Beyond him, at the front of the class, was a tangle of arms and legs. Anil could only tell who was there by the shoes. Two of the
legs were wearing pointy-toed shoes with little curvy heels.
    Miss Broom. That was Miss Broom.
    And the other shoes were great things like paddle boats, only smellier.
    Rodney. Of course, Miss Broom had been dancing with Rodney.
    ‘What’s happened?’ demanded Slacker, trying to get up.
    Serise took a cautious step forward. ‘Miss Broom isn’t dead, is she?’ she asked, with only a tiny tinge of hope in her voice.
    Emily squealed and jumped backwards.
    Everyone looked at Winsome. Winsome was the sensible one: if anyone was going to know what to do, it would be Winsome.
    Jack bent down and stared very closely at the jumble of arms and legs.
    ‘Rodney’s breathing,’ he reported. ‘At least, he’s got puffs of smoke coming out of his ears.’
    ‘How about Miss Broom?’ quavered Emily.
    ‘Oh, she seems to be dead all right. No, hang on, I think her nose is twitching.’
    Serise frowned. ‘Is that good? I mean, it isn’t a death-twitch or anything, is it?’
    ‘There’s no such thing as a death-twitch,’ said Anil. ‘At least…there’s not with humans. I don’t think.’
    ‘Hang on.’ Slacker put up a hand up to one of his antennae. ‘I seem to be receiving something. A sort of howling, like a police car.’
    All of a sudden Rodney moved. He kicked out his leg so that one of his vast stinky shoes sailed off his foot, hit the ceiling, and ended up in the sink.
    ‘Thank goodness!’ said Winsome. ‘Rodney! Rodney are you all right?’
    Rodney got to his feet in a swift, elegant way which was as unlike Rodney as it could possibly be. He moved…he moved like a
leopard
.
    Come to think of it, the brown spots on his face looked just like leopard spots, too.
    Rodney cast a swift look round at the others.
    ‘Well?’ he said, in a voice that was almost a snarl.
    Class Six smiled uncertainly at each other.
    Behind Rodney, Miss Broom was twitching again. In fact she wasn’t so much twitching as vibrating, faster and faster, until all Class Six could see was a blur.
    And then she vanished. Completely. Just like that. One moment there was a full-sized teacher lying vibrating on the floor of the classroom, and the next there was nothing but empty space.
    Several people screamed.
    Rodney’s staring eyes were like emeralds. His pupils had turned into big-cat slits.
    And then he said the worst thing he could possibly have said.
    ‘I’m hungry,’ he said, and he licked his lips with a long pink tongue.

    Emily squawked and tried to jump behind Jack, but as Jack did exactly the same thing at exactly the same time, all they did was bump into each other and fall over.
    Everyone else began to back away. Rodney was flexing his fingers experimentally. They’d grown claws.
    Serise looked round for a weapon and picked up a small plastic ruler.
    ‘If only Miss Broom hadn’t gone and vanished!’ gasped Winsome. ‘She could have saved us.’
    Jack turned to her, frowning.
    ‘I’ll soon sort Rodney out,’ he said in a dangerous sort of way—and Class Six saw to their horror that Jack’s face had a strangely hairy look about it.
    ‘Not him, too!’ said Serise.
    ‘It’s all right, Jack!’ said Winsome quickly. ‘There’s no need. I’m sure Rodney doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. Do you, Rodney?’
    ‘Hurt
people?’ Rodney echoed. He put