Free The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 5 by Maxim Jakubowski

our personal business,” he said. “Sometimes you just don’t think.”
    I hesitated.
    “Think about it, Penny,” he said. “A lot of this shit happens because you don’t use your head.”
    I opened my mouth to say something more, but he interrupted me.
    “Think,” he said.
    So, I thought about it. Could I avoid some of these perils of writing porn if I used my head? My sister probably wouldn’t be mad at me if she hadn’t opened my Christmas cards. Michael would have gotten his baklava if I had monitored my conversation with Jen in front of those kids at La Shish Kabob. Constance wouldn’t have wanted to do a three way if I hadn’t sent her the link to that story.
    “I think you might be right,” I said. “I do need to start using my head when I write porn.”
    As soon as I said it, all this fog in my brain started to clear. It was like all the porn neurons were confusing my common sense neurons.
    Michael looked relieved.
    “I’m sorry, too, for everything,” he said.
    To show me he meant it, he gave me a sweet, tender, probing kiss like he had the first time he kissed me, the kind that took my breath away and made me fall in love with him, but immediately I started categorizing the details. This kiss would be perfect for this new story idea. The way his mouth was pressed against mine, the way his tongue traced my teeth.
    Stop it, Penny, I told myself. If Michael didn’t want me to use our personal details in stories than I wouldn’t.
    Breaking the kiss, I let him lift me up in his arms to give me a big squeeze. That’s when I saw it. Over his shoulder. A newly framed autographed photo on the wall. The picture was from a strip club with all the guys, including Michael, and sitting on his lap was the headliner.
    And guess who she was? Camel Toe Girl.
    I was definitely putting this kiss in a story.

Lonesome Little Blue
O’Neil De Noux
[
For Debb
]
    Sitting in a high-back chair in the lobby of the Klamath Hotel, Sam Hyde waited for a woman he hadn’t seen in seventeen years. His eyes were focused on the front door, so he could see her the moment she arrived. He crossed his left leg and involuntarily ran his fingers down the crease of his gray dress pants. He fidgeted with the knot of the wide flowered tie he’d picked up in New Orleans a month ago, in anticipation of this very moment, or was it Hong Kong? For some reason he couldn’t remember.
    He glanced at the Rolex on his right wrist. It was four minutes until six. Looking back at the front door, he noticed how dark it was outside. Beyond the door, a man in a gray sweat suit was scraping snow off the sidewalk, piling it on the curb. Although it seemed cool in the quiet lobby, Sam felt perspiration working its way down his back. Tiny beads of sweat also collected along his forehead. He wiped his brow with his fingers and let out a nervous sigh.
    He promised himself he wouldn’t be nervous. He’d planned on being in control, being cool when she stepped in and their eyes met. He wanted to be the successful man he’d become since leaving Grayville seventeen years ago. He reminded himself of his successes in business and with women, but it was no use. This was the woman he’d never forgotten. In fact, he had trouble thinking of any of the other women.
    Since the first crush he’d felt for her in junior high, she’d never left his mind for more than a few days. No matter where he’d traveled, his mind always returned to the flatland of his youth, to the small Kansas town nestled between the Big Blue and Little Blue Rivers just south of the Nebraska border, to stuffy classrooms and the memory of her skirt bouncing against the back of her thighs as she walked down the hall in front of him.
    Checking the time again, he saw it was one minute until six now. He focused on the door and tried to swallow, only his throat was desert dry. He readjusted himself in his seat and had to pull his feet quickly out of the way of an elderly man in a large bear