Free Boys Beware by Jean Ure Page B

moment as Gus. I had forgotten how beautiful he is. On a scale of one to ten I would give Wackeen about … mm … six. Maybe seven. But Gus I would give 9. 9999999!And he is so polite, as well. He actually carried our suitcase up the stairs for us! Needless to say we invited him in, but he wouldn’t come. He pointed at our BOYS BEWARE sign on the door and said, “I don’t think so!”
    Tash said, “Oh,
that.
You don’t want to take any notice of
that,”
and immediately ripped it off; but he still wouldn’t come in. He said that he had “things to catch up on”.
    Ali, meanwhile, had gone down to the basement to collect Fat Man, who has been looked after by Auntie Jay. She was down there for such a long time that Tash and I almost forgot about her. Ali just seems incapable of ever doing anything at normal speed. Then when she finally put in an appearance … no Fat Man! Auntie Jay wasn’t there, she said; she must be at the shops.
    Tash said, “It’s taken you all this time to find out?” Ali said no, she had been talking to Gus. “About what?” said Tash.
    Eagerly Ali said, “I was telling him about my telescope!”

    Tash and I exchanged glances. We could just imagine Ali going on in that way that she does. You don’t get a word out of her for hours on end, then all of a sudden shegets a bee in her bonnet and there’s no stopping her. I just hope she didn’t bore the poor boy rigid.
    Week 6, Monday
    Back at school. It’s not actually too bad; even Miss Selby seems to be in a bit of a better mood than she was. I passed her in the upper corridor this morning and she stretched her lips at me. Tash said it was a smile. More like a grimace, I would have thought, but maybe it’s the best she can. do. After all these years of being pursed together in a thin line, her lip muscles have probably got paralysed.

    Everyone in our class was full of stories about what they had done over half term. Loads of people claimed to have met BOYS. Boys by the bucketful! Avril Mackie, in particular. She always claims to have met boys, but I have noticed that there never seems to be any kind of
proof.
I shall have proof! As soon as Grandad sends the photos. Tash seemed really eager to tell everyone about Wackeen, so I just sat back and let her get on with it. I heard her say, “It was Emily he fancied! He was all over her!”

    Meg, Shauna and the others were dead impressed. I could tell from the way they were looking at me, like, “Wow!” Like seeing me through new eyes. I mean, the fact that
Tash
said he fancied me! Obviously if I’d said it, it would have been more like polite smiles and “Oh, yeah?”
    It makes you feel good when your friends look at you with respect. And it is all thanks to Tash! It’s lovely that we are so loyal to each other.
    Tuesday
    Discussed Miss Selby over tea. (Spaghetti hoops and mashed bananas.) I speculated that the reason she is so sour and embittered is that she has never managed to get herself a man. Tash agreed that that might be the case, but then suggested that possibly she was sour and embittered to begin with, and thus no man will go anywhere near her. She added that of course she might be a lesbian. I said, “Not that that is any reason to besour and embittered because look at Auntie Jay … she is anything
but
sour and embittered.”
    At this point, somewhat to our surprise as we didn’t think she had been paying any attention, Ali joined in and told us that we were talking nonsense. She said, “Auntie Jay isn’t a lesbian.”
    Well, pardon me, but how does she know? She might be some kind of expert on astrology, or astronomy, or whatever it is, but when it comes to matters of s.e.x. she knows next to nothing at all!
    Tash explained – quite nicely and gently – that just because one doesn’t like the idea of something, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
    “And in any case,” I said, “there is nothing
wrong
with being a lesbian.”
    By now Ali had gone that dull sort of red