Free Wayward Soul by Kim Young, K. Renee

the closed door. I take a deep breath and open it. Her back is to me and she's curled up in a ball in the middle of her bed. I sit next to her and put my head in my hands. How could the perfect evening turn into this? This girl was my future. I want nothing more than to make sure that still happens, but I know she will fight me every step of the way. Maybe if I give her time, she will be able to get past this. I'm not used to feeling this way and I fucking hate it. Now I fucking get why Brant was moping all that time.
    After about ten minutes, I finally whisper, "Casey, over the last year, you have become one of the most important things in my life and I don't know how to fix this. I want you in my life, but I already know what you're gonna say. It ’ s a mistake, but it ’ s one I will live with if it makes you happy."
    I hear her sob louder as I make my way out of the room, out of the apartment, and out of her life.

Chapter Fifteen

    I hear the door close quietly and I cry even harder. I want to be with Gunner, but I don ’ t think I can handle the violence in his life. We could have died tonight, but it doesn ’ t even seem to faze him. I was terrified. Hell, I still am. What if they come after me because of him? Does he even care that I could have been killed? I press my face into my pillow and cry until I have no more tears.
    The next thing I know, it ’ s dark. I check my phone. Shit, it's two a.m. I don ’ t even remember falling asleep, but I ’ ve been asleep for ten hours. I must have worn myself out from crying. My eyes are red and puffy and they burn.
    I don ’ t remember the last time I have ever cried so much. I want nothing more than to curl up in Gunner ’ s lap and let him tell me everything will be okay, but I can ’ t. I have to be smart about this. I don ’ t want to lose him, but I don ’ t want to be shot at, either.
    Why do things have to be so freaking hard? Life sucks, but I know that ’ s just how it goes sometimes. I pick up my phone and send a text to Anslie. She ’ s been in my shoes before and she will know how to make it better … hopefully.
    Me: Ans, Gunner and I just broke up. What do I do to make it not hurt? :(
    I ’ m wide awake now and all I can do is wait for her to text me back. My mind keeps replaying the shooting, me ending things, and him walking away. My heart hurts, but I know I need to do this. When I think that I cannot possibly cry any more, fresh tears start to fall down my cheeks. I hear my phone beep with a message and I ’ m afraid to look at the screen.
    Anslie: I didn't even know you two were together. Are you okay? Do you need me to get you anything?
    This is why she ’ s my best friend. She would drop everything to help me. A few minutes later, my phone starts to ring. I look down and see Anslie and her kids ’ faces pop up on my screen. Smiling, I answer it. “ Anslie, what do I do? ” I whimper.
    I hear her sigh before she answers, “ Case, what happened? Do you need me to stop by? ”
    The tears start to fall again. “ Things were great for the last year. Last night, someone was shooting at us. Everything happened so fast, I ’ m terrified that whoever it was is going to come after me. What do I do, Ans? I miss him and I love him. ”
    I start to sob and she whispers reassuring things to me. When my tears start to slow, I ask her why she is still awake. She tells me that Charlie is still at work and the boys are already asleep, but she ’ s having trouble falling asleep.
    We spend the next hour talking about me and Gunner, then her and the boys. She barely mentions Charlie, which strikes me as odd. He never seems to be part of the boys ’ lives, and he is rarely home with Anslie. Maybe I was wrong to set them up after Brantley left, but I wanted my best friend to be happy again. She and the boys deserve so much more than she has had lately.
    Once I get off the phone, I go to the kitchen and make some food, then try and force myself to eat.