Free It's Got A Ring To It by Desconhecido(a)

Somewhere along the way, I’d lost sight of what’s important to
me. Along with my heart, I’d given away my joy.
    Before Ethan, I lived life to the fullest. There wasn’t a party or
concert I didn’t attend. I’d seen every show on the strip several times over. I
actually made it out of the country to see the world beyond the valley. I had
friends. Then, I became the girl who ditched her friends for a relationship. It
should’ve been a sign to me then. I spent every waking moment trying to mean
something to him, but with Ethan
,
everything was
either about him or about business
. He was
searching for the self he thought he’d find engulfed in a career. All day
every day
, he was driving
himself to become a financial planner. I figured , if I
was equally obsessed with work, then maybe I’d become as important.
    Still, the more he worked, the less important I became to him. Our
date nights got cancelled and soon the tradition fell by the wayside along with
any notion of affection. After seven years together, I was beginning to think
we’d run our course. Then out of the blue, he suggested we set a date for the
wedding. He hadn’t given his two cents about the wedding since he asked me for
my hand. Every time I asked for his input, he’d just shoo me away. “Whatever
you think is best.” I began to feel like he was trying to pacify me, like a
wedding would keep me from continuing to ask him if anything had changed
between us.
    At that point, my self-esteem was wavering. Deep down I knew
something was wrong—something had been wedged between us. Still I hung on
by the unraveling thread and prayed on my hands and knees that our problems
were temporary. I’d convinced myself that he was just stressed with work and
the wedding, and things would die down after we were married. I was using him
as much as he was using me. Nothing seemed worse than being alone.
    As I merged onto the 15 South from the 95,
the thought weighed on me. Something inside had changed since those days. It
was
as if
a switch had
been flipped and I couldn’t turn it back off. What used to be enough just
wouldn’t do anymore. Sure, I’d finally stooped to online dating, but it
couldn’t be any worse than what I’d already been through. Heck, I could do bad
all by myself. But could I let loose and date without expectations? Looking
over at the neon lights of the Vegas skyline, I knew there was no better place
to test my willpower.
    For my own peace of mind, I parked next door at the Fashion Show Mall
to ensure he wouldn’t learn what car I drove. As I walked over, an uncanny
silence seemed to set upon the valley like an audience on edge, waiting in
peaked anticipation of a debut performance. I’m no performer, but the fact that
I was meeting with a man who was a complete stranger
to me
less than a week ago, definitely showed
me a new side of myself.
    The whole dating scene was uncharted waters. For ten years. if you include the eight that Ethan and I were together
,
I had no idea how much
courting had changed. It used to be that guys and gals met in grocery stores or
church, exchanged telephone numbers and gradually got to know each other. Fast
-
forward a
decade
,
and dates are
planned
on
computers
like business appointments faster than a drive-thru Elvis wedding. I hoped
Larry would be willing to go
at
my pace.
    Somewhere inside the restaurant, Larry
was
waiting patiently, but I slyly lurked at
the bar trying to get a first glimpse. He’d only given me his name and said
he’d wait for me, so I had no clue what I was even looking for. I resolved to
act like a grown-up instead of making a shallow prejudgment based on what he
might or might not look like.
    “Welcome to Della Vite ,” said the hostess
in a weird accent that sounded more cockney than Italian. Dressed in the form
-
fitted black
knee-length dress with a red rose perfectly tucked behind her ear and waves of
long auburn tresses, she was stunning. Suddenly, standing next to her in