Free Finally & Forever by Robin Jones Gunn Page A

Don’t let me get sick. Please let there be antibiotics for this infection. Please heal me
.
    Katie heard a knock on the door and was certain Eli had ignored her insistence an hour ago when she told him she didn’t need anything. He must have come back to check in on her.
    Katie called out, “It’s open.”
    The door opened, but it wasn’t Eli who entered. It was a woman Katie didn’t know.
    “Hi, Katie. Do you mind if I come in? I’m Dr. Powell’s wife. He wanted me to bring you this.” The short woman walked over to Katie’s bedside and handed her a small, white envelope.
    “Is it the antibiotics?”
    “No, it’s some amphetamine to help with the discomfort. He hasn’t been able to locate any antibiotics yet.”
    Katie felt a sense of panic rise in her along with her fever. “Do I need to go to Nairobi to try to get some?” The thought of riding on that bumpy road the way she felt right now made her ache even more.
    “I’m not sure. He’ll let you know. Just rest. That’s the best thing. Do you need anything else?”
    “No. I mean, yes.”
    “What can I get for you?”
    Katie paused. She wanted to say, “I need you to get Eli so he can take care of me the way he did last Valentine’s Day.” But instead she said, “Nothing. No. Never mind. Thanks for checking on me. I just need to sleep.”
    She left, and Katie rolled over on her side.
    I feel like such a wimp. Dr. Powell and his wife must see an endless variety of terrible diseases. Here I am, acting delirious and fragile, as if I’m about to die
.
    She told herself all she had was a small, infected wound. And a fever. And a headache. Come to think of it, her throat was pretty sore too.
    What’s wrong with me? Am I getting seriously ill?
    Katie pressed her hand to her forehead and tried to gauge her fever. She was perspiring but her feet were still cold.
    This can’t be good. What if …
A paralyzing thought washed over her.
What if I have malaria?

6
    K atie checked her arms closely and tried to remember if any mosquitoes had bitten her over the last few days. She didn’t recall any. But that didn’t mean they hadn’t found her and bit her when she wasn’t looking. She could be infected with malaria, a very real, life-threatening disease at this moment and not know it.
    This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t be thinking these things. Just because Eli’s infant brother died of malaria, that doesn’t mean I’m going to die — if I do have it, which I probably don’t. But what if I do?
    Her heart pounded, and she wanted to cry, but even her tears seemed too afraid to make an appearance.
    What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep getting hit by these waves of panic? I feel as if I’m going to lose my mind. I am so afraid
.
    The moment Katie thought the word
afraid
, it was as if she’d named the culprit of her bouts of panic. It was fear. Intense, chaotic fear like she’d never known before.
    For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love and a sound mind
.
    The verse that exploded in her thoughts at that moment was one Eli had quoted twice on their long flight, in the middle of their heart-to-heart conversations. The truth calmed her now as it had calmed her then. She reminded herself that the fear she was feeling wasn’t from God. His Spirit gave her power, love, and a sound mind. No fear. Shewanted those qualities to be present in her life right now. She needed them to overturn the doubt, fear, and instability.
    Katie closed her eyes and prayed. As she did, she felt the sense of panic loosen completely and a longed-for sense of calm came over her. Her thoughts cleared. She stretched out her legs and breathed more steadily. A constant awareness of God’s presence and his powerful protection over her filled her thoughts. He was here, with her, in this small room in Kenya. At this moment, he seemed even closer to her than he had when she was in California. Perhaps she felt that way because she realized how much she