Free Liars and Fools by Robin Stevenson Page A

know.” Joni looked at me. “But life has to go on. Jennifer is gone, and your father is still here. He has to do what is best for him.”
    I looked away, unable to meet her eyes. I wondered if she knew that I had taken Mom’s side—that I’d encouraged her to go on that last sailing trip.
    â€œIt’d be nice to see Peter happy,” Joni said. “So just think about that, okay?”
    If being happy meant forgetting about Mom, then I wasn’t sure I wanted Dad to be happy. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be happy myself.

nine
    After I went to bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tom had said. Maybe she’s the real thing. I didn’t believe it, but as long as there was the slightest possibility that Kathy could communicate with my mother—even a speck-sized possibility—it was going to be impossible for me to put the thought out of my head.
    I got out of bed and rummaged through the laundry hamper until I found the dirty jeans I’d worn on the weekend. There it was, in the back pocket: Kathy’s business card. It was white and fairly plain, with simple black lettering. Katherine Morrison, Medium and Clairvoyant Empath. Her phone number. A small, finely drawn figure of a young girl in the top corner. I tore it in half, dropped the pieces in the garbage and got back into bed.
    It didn’t help. My thoughts ran in endless, pointless, restless circles. What if, what if, what if…
    I guess I eventually fell asleep, because when I woke up the next morning, my pillow was wet with tears and I’d had a horrible dream. I’d gone to the marina and Eliza J had been gone. Sold. I’d lain on the splintery wooden dock and cried and cried.
    I sat up and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. Just a dream, I told myself. But it didn’t help. It didn’t take away the awful empty ache inside me. It didn’t even touch it.
    Besides, it wasn’t just a dream. For all I knew, Eliza J really could be gone.
    Dad was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper when I came downstairs. I made myself some toast and poured a glass of milk before joining him at the kitchen table. I ducked my head as I sat down, not wanting him to notice my puffy eyes, but I needn’t have worried. He didn’t even look up from his paper.
    I couldn’t help thinking that Mom would have noticed right away. She’d have given me a considering look, like she wanted to ask if I was okay but didn’t want to pry. And then she’d have asked anyway. She always did. Dad wasn’t like that. I knew he loved me and everything, but he hadn’t ever been the noticing type. And since Mom died, he noticed even less than ever.
    I had to get to the marina before school. I needed to see Eliza J . I needed to make sure that she was still there. “I have to go in early,” I told Dad between mouthfuls of toast and peanut butter.
    He nodded without looking up.
    â€œAliens from Jupiter are coming to our homeroom class,” I said.
    He nodded again.
    â€œSo I may not come home, you know. I may go back to their planet with them.”
    Another nod.
    I picked up my plate and put it into the dishwasher. My hands were shaking. If I stayed in the room with Dad for another second, I would throw something at him.
    Eliza J was still there. The For Sale sign was still there too. I stepped aboard and sat in the cockpit, looking around the marina. Most of the people who had boats here were men, and most were Dad’s age or older. I didn’t know any other girls who were into sailing. It was sort of discouraging, but all the same, when Mom was here, I never doubted that I’d be a sailor. She’d given me a book for my tenth birthday about a girl called Tania Aebi, who’d sailed around the world on her own, starting when she was eighteen. That had been my robin stevenson dream ever since: to circumnavigate the globe right after high school.
    I let my