Free Spud by John Van De Ruit Page B

house board read:
    SCHOOL PLAY. This year’s school play will be Oliver. Singing auditions will be held tomorrow afternoon in the music centre.
    Drama was cancelled and we were told to read three chapters on medieval theatre history instead under the watchful eye of Mr Cartwright. Eve has rushed Roger to the vet after he collapsed outside the crypt where he’s been waiting for Rain Man.
    Pike pissed on Gecko in the showers. Devries was waiting with his camera as Gecko charged into the toilet with his hand over his mouth. Bert was there but thought the whole scene absolutely hilarious.
    Mad Dog told us he was going bat hunting and skulkedout of the dormitory. From my window I watched him creep around the cloisters of the main quad and then slip down towards the exterior door of the crypt.
    After no more than ten minutes, Mad Dog crept back into the dormitory looking pale and nervous. He said he couldn’t find any bats and that he wasn’t feeling well. I felt strangely uneasy tonight – been thinking about Vern and Roger the cat and the expulsion of Emberton who seems like a good guy with much spirit and humour.
Thursday 17th February
    One day to go!
    Woke up wet. Rain was pouring through my open window. The first chill of autumn is about and for the first time I put on my grey polo-necked jersey.
    Our third assembly in a row. Glockenshpeel entered the hall in a furious rage. Another banana had been planted in his car’s exhaust pipe. This time he’d spotted the dangerous fruit before any damage was done. He was so steamed that he threatened to expel the whole school if he had to. With that he stormed out of the hall leaving everyone staring after him in fear and amazement.
    15:00   Even more terror shotthrough me as I discovered a long line of boys waiting to audition for the school play. After an hour of waiting I at last had my chance. I entered a small room and there stood Eve, a savage looking master called Mr Richardson (nickname Viking) and Ms Roberts, who sat at the piano. Eve greeted me with a warm smile. On her lap lay a half bald Roger who stared vacantly at the ceiling.
    Viking said, ‘Right, Master Milton, let’s see what you can do.’ He then asked me to sing a song called I’ll Do Anything which I vaguely knew from primary school. I suddenly felt terrified and my voice came out all weak and shaky like it was coming from somewhere otherthan my own mouth. After a few lines Viking stood up and shouted, ‘Thank you. Next!’ With that any hopes for a career as an actor were obliterated. The next minute I was outside and walking slowly back through the grey drizzle to the house. I felt crushed; my first and only audition had been a complete disaster. I moped into the common room, sank into a chair and tried to watch the soap operas.
    Boggo reckons that Emberton and Stott may not be expelled. They were clearly not at school last night and now have a stronger case for their innocence. (Emberton’s father is also an influential sugar farmer who has donated thousands to the school. Apparently he’s furious and considering a lawsuit.)
    I think I know who planted last night’s banana.
    22:30   Fatty has gone nuts. He told us that he was ready to reveal all about the teacher who hanged himself. He summoned us all into his cubicle, lit two candles and placed them on his locker. The six of us crowded around him, strangely entranced by his spooky rituals. Before he began, he called for total silence until he was finished. He then closed his eyes, took a deep breath and, in a low voice, he began his story:
    The year was 1944. The world was at war. Every week a memorial service was being held for an old boy who had died in the fighting. During the sermon of a Sunday Eucharist one of the boys looked up and saw the body of English teacher Miles Macarthur swinging from a rope. The chaplain at the time, an old fossil by the name of Faulkner, had such poor eyesight that he thought the swinging corpse was part of the