Free Holly and Her Naughty eReader by Julianne Spencer

kissing you now and you like it, doncha? Yep. It’s real good. Uh-huh. Penis.
    What happened over the next minute
and twenty seconds gives me incredible respect for any guy who has ever brought
a woman to climax, because I’m pretty sure what I did to Sula was about as
stimulating to her as a quick ride on a mechanical bull. Pants off, skirt up,
panties down, Mypenis inside, updown updown herewego, happy, happy, happy dog.
It’s interesting that, for a guy, it’s all RIGHT THERE. Your wanker feels good
while you’re doing it and great at the climax and you don’t want to make love
you want to go up and down and up and down and maybe bark like a dog while
you’re doing it.
    SHA-ZING!!! That’s what climax
feels like for a guy. You can’t help but make that stupid face they make,
because it’s all….SHA-ZING! Your toes curl up and you grunt and it’s just so
fucking awesome.
    But when it’s over….fartknobs
and joysticks you cannot get out of there fast enough. It’s like there’s some
biological imperative to bolt, like nature’s telling you if you stick around
she might make you change a diaper some day. She wanted to snuggle and cuddle
and I was all BITCH PUH-LEEZ (bitch, get it? Cuz I’m….a werewolf…ha ha…. PENIS!! ).
    I left Mane of the Werewolf feeling wiser about how the world works and
much more forgiving of all the guys I’ve known who were less than stellar in
bed. That hyper little doggie that men carry around between their legs is
crazy. I don’t know how they get through the day with that thing.

Chapter 8
     
    I spent the better part of the
next day messing around in the Kindle.
    I went into Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows , jumped into Hermione’s
character, and kissed everybody’s favorite boy wizard on the lips, just to see
what would happen.
    What happened is I felt
immensely oogie, like I was kissing my brother, so I left.
    Next I went into Mockingjay , jumped into Prim’s
character, and kept her away from all exploding parachutes because, seriously,
what Suzanne Collins did to Prim in that book kind of ruined the whole series.
    I went into Gone Girl and…oh, I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t
read the book. Let’s just say I loved that novel and would have loved it a lot
more with a different ending, so I crawled into Nick’s head and made him behave
how I’d wanted him to when I read the book.
    I went into The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis and corrected an offensive bit of
that book where the author condemned Susan to hell because she liked to go
shopping.
    I went into Atlas Shrugged and lurked around inside John Galt’s body. Every
time somebody asked “Who is John Galt?” I jumped out and shouted, “I am!”
    I went into Breaking Dawn and experienced the bed breaking scene for myself.
Good times.
    After it was done, I jumped into
Edward’s character for a change, and was inside his body when Bella spoke aloud
her thoughts on the baby’s name.
    “I want to name her…Renesmee,”
Bella said.
    Once again, I think we need to
give credit to any guy who keeps it together and can act even halfway civilized
in daily life. You all remember how accommodating Edward was to Bella when she
wanted to go with this ridiculous name. Well, this time through, with me inside
his brain, he was unable to be such a gentleman.
    “I’m sorry, what?” I said from
inside Edward’s body.
    “Renesmee,” Bella said.
    “Re-nez-may?”
    “Renesmee.”
    “Renezzzzmaaaay.”
    “Yes, Renesmee.”
    What happened next wasn’t
entirely my fault. I can tell you with absolute certainty that it’s what Edward
wanted to do. I know. I was right there in his mind. Edward the silent, stoic,
supporter of his wife was on the outside. On the inside…well….it was a bit
different. All I did was let his true thoughts come out.
    “BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!”
    “What?” Bella said. “What’s so
funny?”
    I was bent over at the waist,
holding my stomach from laughing so