Free Forever Is Over by Calvin Wade

”
    “ No, you haven ’ t! ”
    “ I have. Look next time I ’ m sunbathing, you ’ ll see a raw lemon next to the sunbed! ”
    I started sniffing.
    “ What ’ s that smell? ” I asked.
    “ What smell? ”
    “ Oh, I know! Bullshit! Heaps of it! ”
    I smiled at her.
    “ Come on, Cal, what ’ s made it so blonde? Billy Idol ’ s hair ’ s darker! ”
    Caroline smiled back at me.
    “ Promise you won ’ t tell? ”
    “ Promise! ”
    “ Cross your heart and hope to die? ”
    “ Cross my heart and hope to die. ”
    “ Do it! ”
    I crossed my heart.
    “ THIS! ”
    Caroline went to her wardrobe that was decorated in posters from Smash Hits and all the rest of her magazines and under a mountain of scrunched up clothes, she scooped out a red and white plastic bottle, which said “ Sun In ” on it.
    “ Every couple of weeks, when I wash my hair, I put this in it. ”
    I looked at her puzzled. I washed my hair every day.
    “ Do you only wash your hair every two weeks? Do you donate grease to the Acropolis? ” (the Acropolis was Ormskirk ’ s finest fish and chip shop).
    “ No, dimwit, I wash my hair three times a week, but I only put “ Sun In ” in it every two weeks ” .
    Now I understood.
    “ Right! ”
    “ And that stuff makes you go that colour? ”
    “ It ’ s just gone a bit lighter every time I ’ ve used it. You should try it! ”
    “ Me? ”
    “ Why not? You ’ re the same colouring as me, you just said so. Next time you have a shower, come in here before you dry your hair and I ’ ll put it in for you! You ’ ll be a blondie like me, Richie! The girls will be chasing after you! ”
    “ Why do they chase after you? ”
    “ You know what I mean. ”
    “ Will Mum and Dad not wonder what ’ s going on, if we both end up blonder than Debbie Harry? ”
    “ Who cares? ”
    I thought about it. I didn ’ t care. Mum wouldn ’ t say anything anyway, she ’ d probably tell us we looked great. Dad would moan at us, but that ’ s what Dad did. If we were blond haired, he would moan, if we were brown haired, he would moan, if our hair was black and had white horses painted into it, he would probably back us to win the 4.30 at Goodwood. Then, when we lost, he would moan at us!
    I had an adrenalin surge, I was ready to explore my wild side!
    “ OK, I ’ ll do it! Shall I have a shower now? ”
    “ You might as well. You smell ready for one, B.O boy! ”
    “ Sod off! ”
    I trotted off for a shower. After a quick soaking, I put on my dressing gown and headed to Helen and Caroline ’ s room with wet hair and an appetite for my first taste of “ Sun In ” . Blond hair could definitely make a difference with the girls.
    Caroline went through the safety procedures like a Sun-In hair hostess.
    “ If you start putting this on yourself, don ’ t put it on your pubes ” . She wrapped a towel over my dressing gown.
    “ Why would I put it on my pubes? No-one will see them but me! ”
    “ I tried it. ”
    “ You ’ re mad! ”
    “ I know. It turned them bright red! ”
    “ You ’ re a loony! ”
    “ You haven ’ t heard the best bit yet! Don ’ t you dare tell anyone this, but after I did it, I shaved my bikini line into a heart shape, so I ’ ve got a big red heart down there now! ”
    I don ’ t know why Caroline told me that. I wish she hadn ’ t. I wasn ’ t 100% sure what a female looked like naked. I had never seen a porn film and had only really seen pre-teenage girls with nothing on. When I was conjuring up an image of a naked woman, I didn ’ t suddenly want to get a mental picture of my sister ’ s red heart. At the time, it made me feel a bit nauseous, but I have to admit, a few years later when Nirvana released a song called “ Heart Shaped Box ” , it made me erupt in a fit of giggles.
    “ Kurt Cobain ’ s written a song for you, Cal! ” I joked.
    I ’ m sure that song must have been about something dark and serious and intense, but even now when I hear it,