Free Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) by Mark Ravenhill Page A

want. I’ve got instincts. I know about this other bloke.
    Gary      If I get what I want.
    Robbie      Cash. It’s got to be cash.
    Gary      Course.
    Robbie      You’ve got the money?
    Gary      Yeah. I’ve got the money.
    So. What you gonna do? To help me.
    Robbie      We’re gonna play a game.
Scene Thirteen
     
    The flat
.
    Mark , Gary , Lulu
and
Robbie .
    Mark      Why are we playing this?
    Robbie      Because he wants to.
    Mark      It’s a stupid game.
    Robbie      Your friend. Isn’t that right?
    Gary      Right.
    Mark      Why do you want to play this?
    Gary      In my head, I see this picture, alright?
    Lulu      Yes.
    Gary      Well, like a picture but like a story, you know?
    Robbie      Yes?
    Gary      A sort of story of pictures.
    Lulu      A film?
    Gary      Yeah, story like a film.
    Robbie      With you?
    Gary      Yes.
    Lulu      You’re in the film?
    Gary      Yes.
    Robbie      You’re the hero – ?
    Gary      Well –
    Lulu      You’re the protag – you are the central character of the film?
    Gary      Sort of. Yeah.
    Robbie      Right.
    Gary      So there’s this story, film and I – there’s these stairs.
    Pause.
    Robbie      What?
    Gary      No. Look, I don’t want to . . .
    Lulu      You don’t want to –
    Gary      I thought I could but I can’t, alright?
    It’s just saying it. Sorry.
    Robbie      So – just wasting our time?
    Gary      I’m sorry.
    Robbie      We should have got the money first.
    Lulu      You’re not going through with this?
    Gary      I don’t know.
    Robbie      He should have paid up front.
    Mark      Paying for . . . ?
    Robbie      Paying to play the game.
    Lulu      So do you want to do this?
    Pause
.
    Robbie      Pointless. Wasting our time. I mean, how old are you? What are you? Some kid wasting our time.
    Gary      I’m not a kid.
    Robbie      You don’t know what you want.
    Gary      I know what I want.
    Lulu      So . . . ?
    Gary      It’s just . . . the words. It’s describing it.
    Mark      Alright. Come back to him.
    Robbie      Now, as I’m the judge –
    Mark      Do me. Ask me – truth or dare?
    Robbie      That’s not fair. That’s not in the rules, is it?
    Mark      But if he’s not ready.
    Robbie      Right. A forfeit. Something I’d like you to . . . something by way of punishment.
    Mark      Just leave it, OK?
    Gary      Shit, I don’t want to.
    Robbie (
to
Lulu )     What do you think would be a suitable punishment?
    Mark (
to
Gary )     It’s alright. It’s alright.
    Gary      Shit.
    Gary
’s tears are close to hysteria
.
    Mark      I’ll do it. We can come back to you.
    Now – ask me a question.
    Robbie      No.
    Mark      Come on – ask me a question.
    Lulu      Alright.
    Robbie      It’s cheating.
    Lulu      I know. My question is . . . My question is: who is the most famous person you’ve ever fucked?
    Mark      The most famous person?
    Lulu      The most famous person.
    Mark      Well OK then OK.
    Robbie      If you’re gonna . . . it’s got to be the truth.
    Mark      Yeah, yeah.
    Robbie      Or it doesn’t count.
    Mark      I know.
    Lulu      Come on. The most famous person.
    Robbie      No because last time –
    Lulu      Come on.
    Robbie      No because before.
    Lulu      Let him say it.
    Robbie      You made it up last time.
    Mark      I know, I know.
    Robbie      So what I’m saying is –
    Mark      I know what you’re saying.
    Robbie      I’m saying it’s got to be true.
    Mark      Right.
    Beat
.
    Robbie      Right.
    Beat
.
    Lulu      Well then –
    Mark      Well then.