Free Love Is a State of Mind: Nobody's Life is Perfect by Sarah Catherine Knights Page A

on the day you left me for someone else.  You can’t expect to just summon me to your office like this.  I have nothing to say to you.”  I could feel tears pushing out, but I was determined not to cry – I couldn’t let him see me crying.  I stood up and started walking to the door.
    “Wait … Anna … wait.  I feel terrible about what I’ve done … I care about you …”
    I stopped in my tracks.  I said, “How touching.”
    “I do care about you.  I’m sure, in time, you’ll understand …”
    My hand was on the door handle, but I stopped myself from storming out.  I came back into the room, marched over to him, went round his desk and said in a low, threatening voice, right in his face, “I will never understand what you’ve done.  Never.  I thought we were happy.  I thought we’d be together forever.  I had no clue that you …”
    “I’m sorry,” he said, leaning back.  “I was happy with you, but then something changed …”
    “When?  As far as I knew, we were going along the same as always …”
    “We were … maybe that was it …maybe we got too complacent …”
    “So now you’re blaming me ?  I thought you simply fell in love …”
    “I did … but maybe there was a reason … maybe I was looking for something … something you couldn’t give me …”
    “So, this just gets better,” I said, feeling myself getting hot in the face.  “You’re a bit bored with humdrum everyday life … so you go looking for a younger model.  You’re so predictable, David.  We all get bored … God knows, I was pretty bored with washing your underpants and picking up your dirty socks off the floor but … hey, that’s life.  I got on with it.  I didn’t think of looking for someone else to …fall in love with.  I loved you … so I got on and did your washing.”  I had to lean on his desk, my legs were shaking so much.  I felt drained of everything – as if all the love I’d had for him had suddenly trickled away, along with my self-esteem. 
    “I still love you, you know …” he said, slumping forward, his head in his hands.  His telephone started ringing and he looked up at me and then at the phone.
    “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.  Answer the damn thing.  I’ve said all there is to say.”  I walked away and pulled the door open with force.  I really wanted to slam it shut when I left, but saw his secretary glance up from her computer, pretending she hadn’t been listening in to our conversation, and I decided not to give her the satisfaction.  I closed it quietly, glared at her and walked out, into the adjacent corridor. 
    I had to get outside – I needed fresh air, like an alcoholic needs a drink.  I stormed out into the car park, breathing the cool air down into my lungs as I walked in a confused state, past the bins, past the netball courts and round the back of the bike racks.
    I stopped suddenly and stared across the open expanse of green playing fields .  I’ve got to get away from this place, I thought.  What the hell am I doing, even considering staying?  Perhaps without knowing it, that was the first time I formulated that idea – before Lisa even told me about early retirement and lump sums.  I just knew I couldn’t stay in the same building with him.  It was madness to stay.  Not after this.
    The second time we spoke was when I tried to persuade him to come and see Adam before he went – and we know how well that went.
    The third time, he came round one evening without warning, just after Adam left.  I was sitting, cuddling Gaz on the sofa, a glass of wine by my side.  I was watching David Attenborough – wild life programmes always fascinated me and this one, in particular, was riveting – it was about animals that mate for life.  I couldn’t help marvelling at their straightforward devotion to each other and their utter lack of ‘boredom’ that David claims had pushed him into the arms of another.  Animals are so