Free Patricia Rice by Wayward Angel Page A

does not seem to like anything I feed him. He will be born hungry."
    "Mother Elizabeth always recommended adding a little honey to milk and taking it warm. Shall I make thee some?"
    Josie glanced nervously over her shoulder and shook her head. "No, best not. Not tonight. I promised Charlie I'd not go down there again. I'm trying hard to be the wife he expects, but thank you, anyway. I'll see you in the morning."
    She scurried away, leaving Dora alone in the upstairs hall. Dora frowned at the familiar ring of Josie's words and the answering echo of loud male voices coming up the stairs. She had lived here long enough to grow accustomed to drunken men and loud voices and cigar smoke. She simply stayed out of the way, well aware they scarcely knew she existed. She had hoped that Josie's presence might civilize them to some degree, but they'd had their own way for much too long. It would take someone stronger than gentle Josie to tame them now. It would probably also take a bullwhip and a shotgun.
    Since she wasn't a likely person for that job, Dora chose to pace her room rather than go downstairs and find a book. Had she not been such a coward, she would have returned to her own house the day she turned eighteen, but now, a month later, she still stayed in this den of iniquity.
    The Elders were not pleased with her. They had tried to understand when she turned down Joe Mitchell's offer for her home. They knew the offer was a poor one, especially for the only home she knew. After losing so much money on the corn and tobacco, David could not make the proposal of marriage he had hoped to make, and she could not stay in the house alone. Others of their belief had offered a place in their homes, but she disliked staying with comparative strangers. They couldn't understand that. She hadn't known if she understood it herself. She didn't exactly enjoy the Nicholls household.
    But the Elders didn't realize that. They thought she had fallen for worldly pleasures. Dora laughed to herself as she stared out over the bare trees from her window. She would give anything for the quiet emptiness of her own house right now. She would defy any one of them to stay in this household as long as she had and survive. Only her own peculiar abilities and background allowed her to remain at all. With Josie's marriage to Charlie, it had become even more impossible for her here, but if she believed in the Inner Light at all, she must believe she was meant to stay.
    Without Papa John's guidance, she had to find her own way, but she knew he would tell her she did the right thing. She clung to that belief even as she heard the men below stumble out into the darkness, knowing they went out to make mischief, knowing what would happen when Charlie returned. No one told her these things. No one discussed it with her. She just knew it with an instinct bred from the first moment she'd heard her own mother scream out in the night.
    She should get some rest while Friend Harriet slept, but Dora continued standing at the window, watching the night go by. The men had taken their horses and rode off. Carlson Nicholls slept in the arms of his black mistress. The slaves had grown quiet in their quarters. Even Josie probably slept by now, albeit a restless sleep. The house lay silent, but still Dora stood, waiting.
    Pace was coming. She had heard it discussed downstairs. She knew it with her mind. He had Christmas leave from the army and he was coming home. But something inside her told her Pace was close, so she watched.
    Logically, she knew her foolishness. He could arrive tonight or tomorrow or tomorrow night. It didn't matter. He would ride in, throw his bags down, say hello to his mother, and ride out again. He wouldn't spend much time in this house with Josie and Charlie. She doubted that he would even notice her. She should get into her nightgown and go to bed. She couldn't do a thing if he rode in tonight.
    Instead, she tightened her boot laces and reached for a shawl.